iBrent= iDiot

Ok, so I just had to convince my family I really knew when my flight was leavening. Aparently airlines don't ever change there schedules, or say stuff like " A schedule change has occurred on your itinerary." Nope they never do that. If for some reason they did, I wouldn't know would I? I wouldn't be able to log on, check in, print out my itinerary and my e-receipt, either. Not a friggen' chance.

Christmas Wish list

anywho, need to post, so i decided to throw this up here.
Large hoody ( plural)- i have a medium and it works pretty well, but still has issues getting my hand in and out of it ( cast and all that), not to mention its now shrunk. It'll fit like a dress, but at least i'll have something to wear in the cold that i can get my hand into ( unlike my coats)
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9781593070946&itm=11
Hellboy:Seeds of Darkens
as far as i can figure this is the first Hellboy graphic novel. I like the art work and the movie, also raises some interesting questions about free will... not to mention he carries a freakin' big gun, and is sarcastic, which makes me happy
Books, clothes
well have a broken hand so i'll be seeing you.

Openmindedly closed minded

So another reflection on my Assembly-line theology class. So personally, I think the mans an douche, but whatever. So I was bracing myself for an Why Music in worship invites the devil to join us class. However, this ( thankfully) did not happen. He started with worship, and what he said about worship was amazing. I'm pretty sure I know his argument now ( music not being a way to worship cause it isn't mental and it being a distraction, not to mention it wasn't exemplified clearly by the early church so its therefore tabboo), but once I managed to put aside my innate dislike of what I knew he was going to say in the next class and listen to what he was saying. First, and it was actually the last point, was that worship isn't about getting, its about giving. I think worship is a bit more balanced, that you should give something and get something out of the service, but it seems to me a lot of people want instruments in a " contemporary" worship service cause a lot of times they turn the worship service into a bad rock concert and the service becomes about how entertained you are, and requires very little input by the chum in the pew ( which is also apealing cause people are naturally lazy) 'cuase the band is doing all the worship. Worship becomes about me and not about God and thats when worship ceases to happen. He also had this acrostic ( I hate stuff like this but the point was good, so we'll overlook the shitty method) P.A.C.E. P stands for Proclaim, A for adoration, C for confession, and E for encouragement of the saints. That is we proclaim stuff ( in our songs, communion, so forth), we adore God, we confess our needs and faults, and we encourage our fellow Christians. He went a bit deeper and was a bit more passionate and amazing than I was but it was good stuff. Not that i don't intend to get my five cents in next class and argue with him, but he's still has good stuff. Inf act it makes me sad that probably a lot of the class missed this cause they knew the crap he was going to say about music, so they missed the great stuff he said about worship. Reminds me of that verse that talks about Respecting old men. Sometimes I think my generation spends to much time on the stuff that old people got wrong and did wrong, as apposed to the stuff they really know right, and did great. I know I do. God helps us see the good in them, and the bad in us ( which incidentally we can change, as apposed to an old geezer who cant change cuase he's all set in his ways)

Job

So hopefully I have one. It's at the caf so I'm a little worried that when i go over tomorrow to fill out paper work, they'll be like, hey you can't do this unless you qualify for work studies. Well who knows. It'll net me ( minus takes, plus change) something like 45 bucks a week, which adds up to 90 bucks every two weeks, which should see my meager needs through till Christmas, hopefully with some in the bank for presents and doing stuff over the holidays cause i probably wont be working first week home ( g/f's coming with me for the first week). Think it might have helped that I mentioned that I've worked in a Deli, was a mop boy, and can bake. But, not sure. The extent of my actual conversation ( my "skills" were in an email with my schedule) was send me your schedule over email. Gets me out of chapel 3 days a week though. Pysched.

More low down on the major change

So, in a brief minute of lucidity, I was looking over my activities since coming to college. And I came to an interesting conclusion. Since coming here I have been in four plays, spent most of my time acting, in the scene shop, hanging out with the theater crowd, looking for props, in the costume shop, and in short basically orienting my life completely around acting. Kinda made me think that maybe I should change my major to what I'm actually doing. That and I don't have much aptitude in the bible side of things. I love my bible classes, and my teachers are amazing. I learn lots, am challenged constantly, but as one teacher wrote on a paper, my hermeneutic is sufficient ( besides off course, the stereotypical diatribe), my exegesis horrible and my grammar deplorable. Not to mention I have no global focus. I see people around me, and that most people ignore them for all the folks "over there". well I'm tired and the old bunk bed is calling me in sweet, dulcet tones.

The Unfaithfull amongst us

So I've been purveying blogs, specifically about tattoo's, for a play I'm going to submit to a ten minute play contest. Trying to get an idea what the Artist's actually think 'cause my main character is going to be a tattoo artist. But this isn't about my character, or my play, its about blogs. I have for the last thirty minutes swam through a host of blogs. Or rather could have been blogs that never got past a clever name and a hi, there, or maybe a welcome, then there was this clever one about crap. But do they get past the first post? Nope. The other blogs stopped in '05. apparently those among the blogging faithful are few ( ahem, not to pester some of my readers, but some of you don't post anymore, not even once a week). I, however am committed. I will continue to tell an uncaring world about my life. Makes me feel important. Gets me out of doing stuff. I mean, I'm developing my witting skills. Yes, thats what I meant.

Major Change

So very soon i'm going to be a theater major. Its just been a naging thought in the back of my head all semester, something along the lines of, " Brent, you'd actually be motivated if you were a theater major, if you had a theater class to go to next, you'd do better in the boring class your in right now." Not gonna lie, when the teacher said in comm 3 that we got to present our stuff to the class, i was really excited. I get to get up in front of people and talk. I get to act ( basically). That makes me happy. Writing papers about a subject that sounded good six weeks ago and now bores the heck out of me does not. I want to act. I need a stage. So i'm going to get one. I'd love to integrate missions into this somehow, but thats still on the drawing board.

Welcome to the Oc, this is Bob, on station S.N.A.F.U, broadcasting live from the World Mission's Workshop!

So, it made me laugh, as well as annoyed me. All the people in the caf were spiffed up, I'm pretty sure I saw a bow tie on one on a guy serving eggs. Who are they trying to kid? Oops, I mean pull the wool over the eyes off? Oh thats right, all the visiting smoe's from other colleges, they want them to think this is how it is everyday. However, there is also a practical side to this. The real reason their serving the eggs is because they want to control portions, so people don't take to much. Cuts down on cost. Not to mention slowing things down. All this freakin' personal sevice takes time. Example: Say this dude asks you how you are? you have to answer the magic question before you can get your eggs. Then you have to tell him what you want, then he has to serve them. I wouldn't be quite this irritated if I didn't know why we were having all this "exciting" extra service. Is it to much to ask for my damn eggs, no conversation, and let me get them myself like the big college boy that I am? Well, this is Bob, saying happy morning to all of you, broadcasting across the internets on station S.N.A.F.U, live from the World Mission's Workshop! Oh boy!

Global warming

Ok so I just almost read an artical, obviously not written by someone from the area, about global warming being the cause "waining" fall follage. Ok first and foremost, one freakin year means jack. Any vermonter will tell you that some years we have lots of leaves, sometimes we dont, it really depends on the frost and snow. Every so often we have a bad year. It just happens. Nothing earthshattering. It kinda like snow. Most of the time we have snow in the winter, sometimes we dont. One year doesnt mean the earth is about to explode. Not saying global warming doesnt exist, but that one year means nothing. Give me twenty years of statistics and I'll beleave you. well now I feel better. better get back to class.

Hot dogs, hordes of people, and stuff

So i pretty much spent the day putting buns on hotdog trays, putting hotdogs on buns. Ok so i did some setting up and cleaning up to. Yes, and a serious amount of hot dog eatage ( i'm thinking six or seven). So it was a give away to poor people. Funny thing, I'm not sure america actualy has them. Or at least, not in a reall desperate needy sort of way. I'm sure some of them must not have had cellphones, had to be some that didnt (I dont have a cellphone), but I didnt see any of those. Pretty sure some of them were illegal ( ironic that the police was there for security and crowd control). All of them had about four to many kids. Most of them drived. In decent cars no less. I feel like we were blessed, and we blessed, but after seeing Mexico, I've decided that on the whole, Americans are wimps. No offense to the really poor people, and I think Jesus would have been there grilling with us, feeding them, but America doesnt have any citties in which family's live in cardboard boxes and nothing else.

Hurray for no context

Context? Who really needs context? I mean it is really necessary? I mean when we can rip a bible verse out of setting, which makes it say the same thing as the other verse's we ripped out of context, life is just so much easier , isn't it? Sorry, I'm mad at me personal evangelism and a free car wash teacher. Once I reach 350 souls I get a WWJD bracelet. I'm so freakin' excited. Its got +20 conservative knucklehead theology. Yay for me.

God uses the fools...

I'm curently doing research ( or rather should be instead of bloging) for a paper on some aspect of short term missions ( its funny, as far as I can tell, and no one says this, but the only recorded examples of mission work in the NT are short term misisons, short term misisons here being a couple monthes to a couple years). And I ran across a verse that's implications are interesting. It says somethig about God useing the foolish things as his tools, thats not a direct quote, more like a paraphrase of the idea. This has been very aparent to me the past couple days. You see I'm in a really lame Personal Evangalism class, tought by a " every freakin' word is inspired and fits exactly in my ten step plan" old dude. To me this is foolish. But as far as I can see, his ten steps have saved a lot of people. While I in no way advocate his aproach, its been effective. I think the younger generation ( me) seems to discount the "oldies" 'cause they didnt save people corectly. What matters it that people are going to heaven. If I had the opertunity, I certainly would try to use something other than the Ten steps, something a little less wrong theologicaly, but fact of the matter I have never actualy had the opertunity. This Old Dude has. He's actualy done it. Seems like he gets points for actualy doing it, while I get negatives for sitting on my ass and just talking about how it should be done properly.

The way it seems to me

Its funny, so I'm a missions major ( curently, I make no predictions about the future past this semester). One of the things I've notticed, that seems to keep repeating itself in my mind over and over and over, is that everyone seems reall excited about "over there". Going to go to Africa to dig wells and provide clean water? Were do I sign up? Aids? Heres some money. Mexico on spring break? Damn strait I'm going ( I admit its a lot of fun). But it seems as if these trips are either a) penence for the fact nobody lives the way they do on the missions field back home b) a way to escape the reality that the home church is dead ( Gosh, stuff is happening there man! ). Everybody's excited ( includeing moi) about evangalising the mythical land of "over there", we forget over here. Completely. Clean up the comunity events are well attended ( and a great way to get THEM to come Here), but what about your friends? the people you spend the most time with? the people you care about? Nary a word. Not one single frickin' word. Never mind sharing your real ( if very weak and broken) walk with God. That's why we hire minister's! Yes, well I have some reading to do, email to anser, never mind friends going to hell. Nope.

Been Awhile

First a little quality update for my critics, I am now using a program with a spell chequer (yes that was on purpose) and such so quality should improve. Sort off. Anywho, onto life. I just got done writing a paper about what this dude (Jay) in a case study for Christian Family, should do about this girl he's been a jerk to ( they were going out). The guy was just a real jerk. I really wanted to add, really, honestly, he's been just such an ass that she should never talk to him ever again and warn all the girls she meets not to ever date him. But that probably wouldn't go over so hot. In other news, and I have a feeling that there's going to be massive fall out when I say this ( no I will not call you because my ear is acting and feeling funky until I actually have a problem, and then I still might not, its not like I'm incapable of handling it), I may have an ear infection. I'm going to the nurse some time before class to get it checked out. Really hope it isn't. That would suck. In other news I just bought myself some fish oil pills ( lots of great omega 3's) and they smell like fish. Ok, so your saying Duh? Fish oil=smells like fish. Yes but it's a pill. Pills shouldn't smell like anything. Well I am now bored and I'm going to go research why omega 3's are good for me.

Argument

OK so it was a little early in the morning for when we had gone to bed, but it still anoys me. We were walking back from breakfast. My girlfriend needs a prescription filled. We get in to an argument over wether she should check to see if were she wants to get said prescription filled alows you to do so online. Her argument is that she may not be on the meddication after dec. My argument is that the meddication is benificial, has helped her, their going to keep her on it, not rocket science. So she doesnt want to check because of that. Not to poke holes in the this argument, but it doesnt require you to scale the great wall of china to do this. It really doesnt. Think its going to come down to, its my car we're going to do this in. If you want me to drive you, your going to check, because me and mel had to jump through all these hoops last year to get my meddication filled, and i'm not going to do that. One, there is an easier/faster way. Second that easier/faster way doesnt require work in anyway. Five freakin' seconds and you can know. But we're not going to argue about it, she said. She's right, we're not. Its either check, or get someone else to drive you. Nuff said.

new year, a new hard drive

So the old lappy is back from the shop. What started out as a simple " my computer cant conect to the internets." turned out to be a not so simple, " we're sorry, your hard drive is corupted." Lovely. Nothing like not being conected to life for the past couple days. An explination for those of you not on an e campus. If you do not have "the internets" here, you will die. Mostly 'cause there will be some sort of monster over in the forum, OC will send out a email telling everyone to wear their +20 armor and their +2 cloak of evasion and make sure thier+5 sword of smiteage is in good condition, or you will die. Or you could miss an email about class being moved, cancled, new homework, whatever. Oc students are like interent vampires. without internets, we die. Pure and simple. So you could say i'm feeling much better. Much much better.

Dont give shit

apologies for the profanity. But i'm really p.o'd. The old g/f is really freakin' getting on the nerves. I have maybe thirty minutes to do the whole internet thing, and not to mention my opinion and advice mean shit. Goodness knows she's all there to give me advice on my life, and how i should be, but lord help us if i give her advice on how to exercize. the sky's falling. tired of phones, interent, because fact of the matter is she'd probably not have the balls ( great pun if i do say so myself) to say any of that crap to my face.

does this mean i suport torture?

So i bought myself a pair of Jack Bower sunglasses. Does that mean i support torture? I mean, if i watch 24, that means i'm a heartless person, but what if i buy Jack Bower aviators? that undoubtedly must move me down a rung in hell. funny thing about tv shows, it o.k. to have rampant sex with multiple people while being married, but god, torture a terrorist and wooo......

Lost Energy

Great stuff, try it. Apparently its monsters answer to the fact that it does not mix with alcohol. Granted I've never tried monster with alcohol, but when the back of the can says its a drink that mixes and that they got monster to make a drink that mixes, i figure that probably implies some connection to adult beverages. Its milder than monster and has less of a bite. Tasty, but regrettably still in the forever cursed 16 onces. I don't mean to rag on a great product but do we really need or want 16 onces?

Draculla

Dracula's Castle' Up for Sale in Transylvania

Monday, July 02, 2007

BUCHAREST, Romania — A Habsburg heir is hoping someone will take a bite of his offer Monday to sell "Dracula's Castle" in Transylvania.

The medieval Bran Castle, perched on a cliff near Brasov in mountainous central Romania, is a top tourist attraction because of its ties to Prince Vlad the Impaler, the warlord whose cruelty inspired Bram Stoker's 1897 novel, "Dracula."

Legend has it that the ruthless Vlad — who earned his nickname because of the way he tortured his enemies — spent one night in the 1400s at the castle.

The Habsburgs formally put the Bran Castle on the market Monday, a U.S.-based investment company said. No selling price was announced.

Bran Castle was built in the 14th century to serve as a fortress to protect against the invading Ottoman Turks. The royal family moved into the castle in the 1920s, living there until the communist regime confiscated it from Princess Ileana in 1948.

After being restored in the late 1980s and following the end of communist rule in Romania, it gained popularity as a tourist attraction known as "Dracula's Castle."

In May 2006, the castle was returned to Princess Ileana's son, New York architect Archduke Dominic Habsburg. He pledged to keep it open as a museum until 2009.

Habsburg, 69, offered to sell the castle last year to local authorities for $80 million, but the offer was rejected.

On Monday, he put the castle up for sale "to the right purchaser under the right circumstances," said Michael Gardner, chief executive of Baytree Capital, the company representing Habsburg. "The Habsburgs are not in the business of managing a museum."

He predicted the castle would sell for more than $135 million but added that Habsburg will only sell it to a buyer "who will treat the property and its history with appropriate respect."

Habsburg said in a statement: "Aside from the castle's connection to one of the most famous novels ever written, Bran Castle is steeped in critical events of European history dating from the 14th century to the present."

According to a contract signed when the castle was returned, the government pays rent to Habsburg to run the castle as a museum, charging admission.

The government has priority as a buyer if it can match the best offer for the castle, he said.

Opposition lawmakers have claimed the government's decision to return the castle to Habsburg was illegal because of procedural errors.

In recent years, the castle — complete with occasional glimpses of bats flying around its ramparts at twilight — has attracted filmmakers looking for a dramatic backdrop for films about Dracula and other horror movies.

Some 450,000 people visit the castle every year, Gardner said.

Bomba: old school with a kick

its a realy great energy drink. Caution though, the official site looks like a porn site till you load it. Not quite sure what two naked people climbing over each other has to do with energy drinks. Its old school, and not as powerfull as red bull or any of the new stuff, hence it doesnt wire you up as hard as the new stuff. Just got lots in at the store. Basking in Bomba.

Being somethone worth waiting for

Be afraid. Be very very very afraid. You are about to experience some bad prose. Written late at night, or if you prefer, early in the morning. I woke up to use the restroom. Something a friend said stuck in my mind. Oh ya, if you ever need a good ego boost, hang out with friends from highschool. You may not make the life choices ( not needling my mother here at all, nope) your parents would like, but at least you didnt sleep with your girlfriend, and dont get smashed on the weekends, and dont do the whole one night stand thing with anything that wears a skirt.

Being someone worth waiting for: Composed in the basement, 2:40 am.

It was a friend of mine that coined the term-
he was using it as an excuse for the way he was living-
Saying that if he had a good christian gil-
He wouldnt be doing the stuff he was doing-
and while he was just making an excuse, to make himself feel better-
(cause his mom had certainly taught him better)
It was a good point, one i'd never thoughtabout before-
Not gonna lie, I've thought about sex and there's times it would have been easey-
It never happened, we claimed beliefs and ideas kept us safe-
But sometimes it felt a whole hell lot more like being afraid of consiquences-
It's never easy to wait, if they say it is-
Thier lieing.
But-
to change the way i live-
to live the way i think-
to ask God-
to let God-
make me be someone worth waiting for-
that would be somethin', wouldnt it?
(ps that last lines a statement, not a question)

Updates Updates

So i'm sitting here at the old desk waiting for a call, then i can leave. I figured it was a good time to update the old blog. Well, not much to update. Nothing much is happening. Army friends not here till 1 of july, which also happens to be the day my best friend is getting married. Other than that its been a typical summer, work, mow the lawn, do stuff. Kinda boring.

well well, another forward

so i got on one of my teachers forewearding lists. Just a snippet from the latest:A bill in Congress makes it a crime for pastors and churches to speak against homosexuality.
and it encourages me to pass it on so people can fight to preserve our "freedom". Dont recall the early christian doing that, calling up thier local senator, telling him to get on his chariot and make a mad dash for the forum to stop the "Lets throw christians to the lions " bill. I would bet money its a urban legand. I'm sick of people thinking we have to go out and fight stuff, that gosh you have to protect your rights. All i've got to say, i'm not afraid, and bring it freakin'n on. Lets stop being pansy's, gov does not define morals, marriage, what i beleave. they want to make it a law that i cant say what i beleave. Throw me in jail.

moods and music

some interesting thoughts and some music. My life has a soundtrack.
"Surrender"

My hands hold safly to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?
"Mirror"

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

great song

heard it on the radio this morning. its sad, but it made me happy. go figure.

The Last Night Lyrics

You come to me with your scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everwhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everwhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be

I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me

corection:i'm single

the wording would have been better, a girlfriend. figured a post is better than just fixing the origanal post, cause i dont know how many of you have read the origanal already.

things you should never tell woman

Like, hey my best friend i've known all my life, whose wedding i'm the best man in, is more important than you. So it wasnt that blunt. but it was kinda blunt. this is the second time i've had to do this. funny thing is this time it wasnt to my girlfriend it was to the former. whom i've known six monthes. she wasnt happy. ah well. not sure i care. Dont quote me on that.

Friends dont let friends date friends

A truer word has never been spocken. Or words. Anywho, having a good day. Being mildly outgoing and talking to this chick at work. We both snowboard, not sure if that subject can last the day, but heck, i only have to make it to 4:30. Might go see shrek together. so far the only person who actualy wants to see the movie that i know. Could be fun. Could be disastoruous. anywho, facebook awaits.

some randome thoughts

So i start work tomorrow. not incredably excited. It does mean i have highspeed internets more or less from 8:30-5:30. It also means that i get to mop floors, clean up spills, clean cans. Whoop te do. But it pays the bills. the bills need to be paid. indeedy do. well anywho. thinkin' about life. not much goin on. bored. can think of anything to type. going...somewere else.

Ahem, not sure what to post

cool song. dig it alot.
"Yours To Hold"

I see you standing here
But you're so far away
Starving for your attention
You don't even know my name

You're going through so much
But I know that I could be the one to hold you

[Chorus:]
Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold

I see you walking by
Your hair always hiding your face
I wonder why you've been hurting
I wish I had some way to say

You're going through so much
Don't you know that I will be the one to hold you

[Bridge:]
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
You should know
I'm ready when you're ready for me
And I'm waiting for the right time
For the day I catch your eye
To let you know
That I'm yours to hold

[Altro:]
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
I'm ready when you're ready for me

My kick butt day

So in case you havent notticed, i've beeen having a sucky couple weeks. Today i think i've turned the corner from the she left me blues. no promises emo me wont be back every now and again ( last girlfriend it took me round about christmas to get over the whole break up thing), but we're clear for awhile hopefully. I had a freakin' amazing day.
1. Comotose. I dont know if you have had a piece of music transform before your eyes to something different, something, better. It'd been my new favorite sad bastard music to listen to. Then this morning, it transformed itself to a get off your ass and get moving sort of thing. Made me happy. Really cool cd. everyone should go out and buy it.
2. I wore a suit coat. Suit coats make me happy. Suit coats also make me hot. "nuff said.
3. Spent the day withe the R.O.H ( responsible other half). My cousin. best friends for well, a bazillion years. Ate at the three tomatoes, which is an amazingly cool, Italian eatery. Nothing makes me happier than great food with unpronounceable names, or with simple names like Sicilian chicken, nothing like chicken that will mug you if you don't eat it quick. I didnt have chicken, i had some sort of tomatoe/portabello mushroom panini sandwich that was amazing.
4. The Army Dude called last night. Friend in army, going to iraq. had a long talk, very excited he's coming home.
5.Bought the essential billy joel. great music, sing me a song mister piano man...

Comotose by Skillet

Very cool. Probably the most interesting bit of music released by a Christian artist well, since switchfoot came out with their new cd. Very very amazing. Also very very depressing. Makes a guy remember all the girls he's dated, the fun times, the sad times, and well just feel lonely as heck. So thats basicaly my mood right now. Lonely. which of course the fact that i cant stop listening to it. Wahhhhhhhhhhhh....brent is single. Oh and i shaved my head. not feeling emo at all right now. Nope. think i'll go cry in the corner. At least my since of irony is still with me, and i'm laughing at myself.

belated b-day party

So we couldn't celibrate my b-day in oklahoma, so we had the party today. Food was...amazing. pie was great ( coffee, brewed by myself, was pretty dang good as well). Presents were also pretty tasty. Scored some sweat shirts. expanding my wardrobe also makes me happy. got some cash from the ragester which expands my buying power, er, i mean savings, yes thats what i mean. Got some pretty sweat floor mats to. Thinking about painting the old car white, doing the inside in black. We'll see. Have to work out the logistics of painting it myself, figure that works better with ground effects if i every get the money to purchase, well have some internets searching to do.

summer goals revised

think i'd date just not to be bored, going out of my mind. boredddddddddddddddddd

oh yes, update on my emo self ( or hair)

i cut my hair cause i was bored, then i died it. Black. Inspiration: that really cool scene from the Bourne identity were he dies her hair, black. Anywho thought a couple people will flip. Should be good times. Yay for me.

My Goals for the summer

1. Gain 20 pounds. Actually its probably more like 25. I'm roundaboutish 155 right now. soccer i made it to 160, would really like to be 180. A fit 180.
2. read lots. have an amazing reading list. gonna be freakin sweet.
3. make money. always a must
4. volunteer at the homeless shelter, hopefully, but have to see what the job does before i can give them hours to be there.
5. Date someone. Date here being Brentish for hey lets do stuff together, get to know each other and if we click we do, and if we don't, then thats cool to. Have a friend coming home from college here in a couple weeks ( a her). anywho, moving on.
Ridding a blue funk right now, wrote some crappy poetry was going to post, but lost the urge. Well other spheres of postage await me and my mad writing skills.

Emo times for all

Miss having someone to hold. Badly. Know that i just have to keep being stubborn, pretend everything is ok and it will eventually not be that bad. Time , its all i need. this sucks.

my bleeding heart

Ok, so i'm feeling sort of emo right now. Dont worry, in a moment or two i'll be playing ps2 games and watching 24 and it will all go away and i'll be back to my normal angst ridden cynical self. Frankly i'm missing having someone beside me. Some one thats just mine. On the same token i'm kinda enjoying the carefree responsibility freeness of being able to flirt and move on. Smile, make eye contact then move on, never meet, never have to pay attention, fix problems and communicate with. On the other hand, not sure i'm diggin' on the whole limitation thing. I sort of want possibilities. You know, nothing dead set, just see how the relationship goes. Think i've been aproaching every relationship i've been in with the idea that it must end, so why not get it over with? the ex was going to pr, the former was going to be a million miles away, bound to break up so lets do that, take control, make the decisions. Kinda would like to just see were things go. You know, no have to do the whole relationship thing, but can if we both want to, no breaking up cause of distance. But then dont think i'm ready for any new person in my life. It'd probably be just a way to forget the former. Its that probably thats getting me, the forever what if that haunts my footsteps. Well enough, here's a great song.
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's messed up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

The Ghost Rider

Just went and saw if with the former ( former sounds better than the ex). Very frekin' cool. Go out an watch it. Nicholas Cage does an amazing job as a Ghost Rider. Its not spider man, but its cool. I never liked choppers that much, but heck, flaming ones, ridden by flaming skeletons in leather beating up the bad dudes, well kinda cool. Also the leading lady, who's name i forget, is also very hot. Yes, very much so. Not to mention the plot is cool. Well anywho, i have a paper to write "wink, wink"

Single again, for sure this time

So it's over. Make me happy. the pressures gone. having to worry about hurting her is gone. She's letting me go. Truth be told we're both really immature. Heck we're freshmen. We need some time to grow up. Its been amazing, but its time to get back to life. Only sad part is i think she's letting me go. I'm ready for this, been ready for this, she's not. She's an amazing girl, and she's doing this because she loves me. Tugs on the heart a little, not going to lie. Its good to be free though. My independence is satisfying. For those of you watching facebook, i'm not "officialy" out of this relationship. I promised her one last date. Then its officially over. I'll be sad, in fact thats sort of kicking up right now, but its for the best.

From Facebook to Myspace: a journey of spiraling adiction

Ok so i got into myspace for the heck of it. Why not i said. So i blogged once and then forgot about. Was chatting it up with a friend of mine , my page had been found, and it was lame. So i went to work. Found some cool sayings. Got mad at the ridiculously small font they give you , changed the profile picture. Got some Great Big Sea going down, alls happy. But now, i'm addicted and in a few short minutes i will go and see how many people read my blog. However, i will also get the feeling that someones watching me, that their creepy and that they want to...do bad things. To me. Was reading a survey on said friends site, and was wondering, why would a random person care. Then their was this creepy singles advertisement. Web cam chat they call it, telling me to chat. It was just a stock advertisement, for fools to click on so they can steal all of your money and sell your email address to spammers. But i almost clicked on it to make it go away. Creappyyyyy

(Time Of Your Life)"

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Well, singleness is setting in

I just broke up. Last night. Over the internet. Why the heck does it always happen over the internet? Can i not date a girl that can communicate in way than the internet? I mean,i changed face book, sent her an email and she emails me the reason's why she's mad at me. Well you know what? i tolled her specifically if she didn't say it to my face i wasn't especially interested in reading it in an email. I didn't delete it, but neither did i read it all. I'm getting tired of her getting mad,not talking, then that night she'll come up and hug me, and kiss me and never tell me why she was mad. I cant take this anymore! i told her we'll talk sometime, but not anytime soon. Kinda diggin' on the whole being single again. This ones for Jer. God, its been a lovely day...( great song)

Chaple Sucks, at least most of the time

Think ten minutes of songs lead by a constipated walrus, think maybe ten minutes of preaching by a drunk panda, think definatly ten minutes of announcements lead by an angry chiwawa, who also happens to be our president, and you get a general description of chapel. However there are bright moments, like the ones when we only have two songs and then they tell us to leave. Or on those evan rarer moments when the preacher is actually a good preacher ( reference : Niccum, Baired, Kooi, Jeff Walling, Randy Harris, Mitch Wilburn). Like today. Mitch is in town, and preachin' it up. Happy Brent. Granted he doesn't have the time to say anything much, but it makes me happy to see someone who's actually passionate speaking from the stage.

A little of whats on my mind

A little, its late ( i was just at Ihop with some friends and had a little coffee that sort of wearing off). I'm tired off Oc. Not in a , oh gosh i just have to make it four more weeks. I'm tired off it in a deep it saps my soul sort of way. Its not the schools fault its my own, i guess. I can document the steps in which it felt like i was leaving God at home on the car trip here. I couldn't touch my bible the day before i got here. I can read my Bible in Pourto Rico ( thats a place thats been on my mind a lot) my uncles in Texas, my brothers house, my home at 5 in the morning, Mexico i ate it up like a starving man, but Oc? gosh i'm lucky if i touch it when I'm not in bible class, and praying? It feels like God went with me to a certain point on the car trip then he was waving goodbye as we drove away. I think i can count on my fingers the amount of times I've felt like I'm actually in the presence of a living breathing God at Oc. Once at Refuge ( a Thursday night bible thing) and a couple times during the Spanish songs we sing every whensday nights. In fact I'm so dependent on those songs as a way to feel my creator that when we don't sing them, I'm depressed. Generally i have no clue what I'm singing, but somehow Spanish songs get to me, it's like God speaks to me through them. Well thats it, or some of it, i'm tired.

Oc lets us down once again

Ok this is a rant, i'll get to that other post any day now. Ok so my parents are shelling out the bling so i can go to school at this "first" rate place of Christian enlightenment. What happens when i arrive at the caf today? Guess? We are presented with togo boxes cause some one or organization has taken over the cafeteria for some reason. I wouldn't have been incredably pissed if they had at least warned us, like an email that said " Such and such worthy cause organization has taken over the cafeteria, your going to have to eat out of togo boxes." But for all know it could be a bunch of Rich dudes their trying to wring money out of, so they can raise my tuition ( yes it is happening, i was over at the printer the other day and someone had printed out a bunch of surveys about the cost going up 6% for tuition and maybe 5% for room and board, i don't remember exactly) to build stuff i really don't give a crap about ( reference baseball field we wont be able to use cause its only for out dear baseball team and clock tower). But they don't. My parents are already paying way to much for room and board, the dorms suck and the caf constantly under delivers, every day, seven days a week. So unless those rich dudes are going to start shelling out the chunk change to pay my bills or give every student a Porsche, give me my cafeteria back.

Back from Mexico

So i made it to Mexico and back without our dear government suspecting that they let a undocumented member of their country slip in and out without their knowledge. Did a lot of thinking, praying, reading of the old bible, so a really long post should be forthcoming. The reason I'm making this post is cause the old blog was distracting me, and i needed to do some blogging to get it out of my system. Well, back to practice.

Why i hate chapel

Ok the way to get Brent excited about Chapel is not to have a crummy ( a.k.a New Reign) worship team get up and start singing before i actually have to hear them, i treasure those ten minutes before chapel in which i sit in my seat, catch up on my girlfriends day, or merely snooze,pick my nose hairs whatever. Truth be told i really hate bands that are basicaly copying Accapella ( the only "band" that actually does Accapella moderatly well), but turn out to be more like a really bad N'Sync ( if thats possible) with less training in the art of singing. Second if your going to get on stage and pretend to be rock stars, your not fooling anyone, get a guitar. Third, if you cant sing, the key is to snap your fingers. Makes people think you can.

Whats up my tunner bro's..

Very excited about the summer. I just googled the car i'm probably be going to be driving ( 1998 caviler) and found out i can perform the two cheapest and best ways to gain horsepower and get a body kit for 1600 give or take a bit. A cold air intake is round aboutish 400, with a header being round about 300. A body kit is anywhere from 300-600. This summer is going to be freakin' awesome. First upgrade will probably be the radio though. It doesn't have cd player. Thats going to be a rough couple weeks till first paycheck nabs me a system. Going to be a lot of mowing the lawn in between working though. But we have a big lawn. And the big bearded man probably wouldn't mind if i do some dead branch snippage on some pine trees i know of. Hopefully i'll actually be able to do stuff to my car, cause' i'm hoping to do some volunteer work for the church and a homeless shelter. All and all a pretty sucky looking summer is beganing to look up. Wootness!

Ok, the scoop

I wasn't going to try out. The director struck me as a nit picking prick who had a very inflated opinion of himself. He may be, but i got to read his play, and frankly he's not that bad as a person . Weird? yes, but he's in theater so thats a given. The play is incredibly funny. I love my charecter. His name is captain Blunchsli or something like that, he's a swiss mercenary who climbs into this girls window to escape pursuit of the Bulgarian army, were he threatens her with an unloaded pistol ( she doesnt know it at the time). It only gets better from there. I'd class him somewere between Professor Henry Higgons of Fair lady fame and the main character in Sitka ( by louis lamour). Maybe just a little less interested in woman than the Sitka guy.

I make the play

4'th show this year. Leading role. Cynical swiss mercenary. Name of play: Arms and the Man. Going to be incredibly funny. Class , must go.

The REMF's are coming to Oc: or why i hate Mike Shiley

Inside Iraq, the untold story. Perhaps, just maybe perhaps, it should have stayed that way. Who is Mike Shiley, you ask? google him and you'll get his official stuff. He came to my college and showed his movie. Brave man i must admit, coming to a conservative campus with something like that. Other than that my praise ends. The man had the audacity to think that because he spent an hour getting "certified" to shoot a machine gun and went on two patrols with an armored unit that he could walk in the boots of a soldier. I will not type the words appropriate for such a rear echelon whiner. He's a civilian and its obvious from his movie that he doesn't even began to comprehend the military mind. Ideas like if the guy under the truck that was smuggling weapons just watched his buddies get waxed and is trying to get away, might just be trying to get away and not want to be killed, not surrender. That if we hit him and he's wounded, it may be better to finish the guy off ( that was smuggling weapons to kill Americans and innocent Iraqi civilians) rather than send a patrol out to get him that might be ambushed. What a REMF! as Marchinko would say, Doom On You Mike Shiley.

Hello, fair friends, my deepest apologies

So its been some time since i graced this particular corner on the internets. The reason? Electra. The play is officially eating my soul. IN other words, Electra gets my soul. Life, my girlfriend, my blog do not. The play is going to be amazing. Its going to be so great because we're all so heavily invested in it. But it still feels like I'm not my own person, the play is me, and it demands i spend my time either doing it, or trying to find a way to rid my mind ( mindless games) of its tentacle like grip on my life. Well i have to get back to class.

Earagon: Perhaps Not

Ok, so the movie sucked. Granted i might not have gone into it with the right attitude. I thought the book was pretty much on par or a little bit bellow most fantasy. But it was pretty popular. So i figured, they'll do a good job because everyone likes it. Nope. It moved. Never, stopped. Characters never developed. There wasn't time. They had to rush to the battle. And then this epic battle...went really fast. Boring. Only person i liked was Brom. Not incredibly true to the book, but he was awesome. really great. every one else sucked. Lets rush the characters to the battle, cause thats what people want. Then lets make this big event sucky.

Caffienated, full, satisfied.

Steak, 10 oz, medium. Ceaser salad. Apple sizzler thingy. Umpteen cups of coffee. Happy, hyper ( having trouble typing actually). Real food. Tastes good. Practice is about to start and I'm ready. Psyched. Tomorrow i get a peak at the next play, and I'll probably try out for it. I love Theater. Well...got nothing else. This ones for Jer. Black fingernails, red wine, i want to make you all mine...

I pay tribute to the gods of Rock and Roll

ok so for the past two day i have been ( in between some classical and downloading the Broadway musical soundtrack to Les Miserables, and some retro switchfoot) i have been taking a journey back in time. hello Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Bob Dylan, Jimmy Hendrix,Chuck Berry, John Denver ( who incidentally is labeled as Rock) and Johny Cash ( Ruckus's selection of mister Cash is horribly limited). I have been paying homage to these great American icons. Granted i feel moderatly hypocritical ( just remembered a song i wanted to find, stairway to heaven, great favorite of a now enlisted friend on mine) as i ridiculed such music. Its not bad. Definetly more technical music wise than our dear modern stuff. makes all my stuff look like , well, music written three year olds. Ah well, still like my modern alternative stuff. Old stuff inst as bad as i thought it was. Well have to go find that song.

Late night weekend

Tired. Need to sleep. Just a little bit sick. Ok so maybe a lot bit sick. Got this really annoying runny nose and sore throat. Great reason to skip chapel tomorrow. Yes!!! Not going to skip working out, going to skip chapel, you make sense mister Merrill. anyway have a bit of gloomy poetry for y'all. Was walking home the girls dorm to study, happy, awake, and this came to me. Interesting thing is that my current mood is diametrically apposed to this poem ( completely oposite for those of you who don't know what it means, and to prove to my brother i actually know what it means). Wells here's my dark bit of poetry:
Pleading,
Screaming,
putting one foot in front of the other,
watching helplessly as the days just run into one another,
crying for meaning,
Pleading,
Screaming.
Well i really hope i have creeped you all out. That would make me very happy. Any way, tired, have to wake up at six. Oh , Annapolis the movies sucks, and Queen of the Dammed might quite possibly be the worst, stupidest vampire movie i have ever seen in my entire life. Well my bottle of Advil is calling my name. Advil might quite possibly be the solution to many of life's problems ( those not solved by coffee, and music off course)

Mellowness

Awake, enjoying life. chilling to some sweat music Sing for the Bartender, sing for the astronaut, Sing! Not mad any more, not to the point that i actually read that the email, but getting there.Might have been mistaken, but i haven't read the email yet, so i'll reserve judgment. The g-friend and i are once again happy with each other. We had our talk, it went well, the two days made everything happy. Today while we were painting the set, everyone was telling thier she left me or i left him cause she was a freak stories. their were a couple i almost got married stories. Got me thinking. So not evan mentally ready for marriage. Almost broke up on that thought. Not sure how i can be dating a girl , with my eye on the future, and i'm scarred spit less of marriage. Seems kinda contradictory if you know what i mean. Well i'll go be puzzled elsewhere.

What the Hell! i'm not getting married!

OK so i mention that i think this relationship will last a long time and i think it will. What do the parents do? immediately think i'm signing up tomorrow to walk down the isle! I dont know if this thing will last till tomorrow night and i get this long email i may never read cause it makes me realy mad that they assume that i'm jumping of the old bacholler ship headfirst into a unfilled concrete swimming pool! cool your horses! Stop making links between things that don't exist, if i wanted/needed your advice i would go to you and ask for it. Maybe this is the reason me and my parents don't get along. YA THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Baleeted!Gee, ya think i might, just maybe, kinda sorta, perhaps, think long and hard before i get married? Nooooooooo.....That is as far as i'll probably ever get in that email ( no its not deleted, yet, i need some time to cool off first)

Ruckus you beutiful thing you...

Ok time to break the trend. Going to not talk about my melodrama and talk about something that is near and dear to most of my readerships heart, free music! Ok so it might not really be free. You "download", as i understand it temporary files, which presumably ( though i haven't tried) cant be burnt to cd, though might be able to be put on an Mp3 player. Ruckus. I signed up today cause i have some serious down time going down right now, and our horrible school web sight reminded me of its existence. Granted thou must have a valid college email account, but I'm guessing those of you in cahoots with the B-man, are in Cahoots with the Alaskan Assassin, who i'm told ( hypothetically) can obtain off sight back up disk copies of ...stuff from certain state run university's... so it might not be so hard to smooze yourself back into the college thing to get free music. Though i'd bet you guys can already download a torrent of songs ( clever me) without your school shoveling it about copyrights and stuff. Well have to go douse myself in some more music.

I, Brent have laid down the law, and it was no fun

Ok, so today things came to a head. We had a terrible experience going to walmart, and Macdonald's was not better. I decided it was time to do that " man" thing. I put the forth the proposition that we take a week off ( with the idea that it'd give us some breathing room, and that we start back up next week). She shot that down. I tried to get her to talk. She said she would in the car. We didn't have time so we had our chat in the student center. She talked. My turn came. ON the way over i decided that, if she didn't need/want a couple days of, i did. So i said i was taking two days off. I don't think she's happy about it, but then neither am i. It needed to happen. I think we're both drowning in each other. We're madly in love, but we got some problems,and those problems need to be fixed or at least a process begin to make them go away, but we were to scared to take some time off to give the earth a chance to stop revolving. Its going to be no fun. But it'll be good. Doing the whole Man thing, this is what's good for the relationship thing sucks.

I, Brent am horribly pissed

Ok so me and the g-friend had a relationship bump. Details? no you don't get them. For those of you saying , ah! it must be sex! well it wasn't( and if you dont find that convincing, well i dont care a whole lot). Anyway, so i spend about an hour or two, holding her trying to get her tell me what she's thinking. I was mildly annoying about it. I frankly did not want her, or myself to go to sleep without at least having talked about it. After much wrangling we finally make it to just outside her dorm. More wrangling. She tells me she'll email me. Pissed off? yes. you do not communicate this sort of thing via email. In the morning there shalt be a reconning. If she ever, ever does this again we're breaking up. I love the girl an awful lot. But i'm not going to communicate this sort of thing via email. We're going to sit down, face to face, like grown up adults and hash stuff out or we're going to remove our need to hash things out. WE'RE in college for crying out loud!!!!!!!! Men and Woman standing on our own damn two feet. You look me in the eye and tell me or your not the girl i thought you were and we're through. I love this chick. In fact, she's is probably going to be in my life for a longish while. But frankly, not if the next time something like this happens, i get an email.

a shout out to my budy Rage

I, with the powers vested in me by no one, declare today Jan 17, Rage day. Happy Rage day everyone! Why is today Rage day you may ask? well, I'll tell you why. Once upon a time a regrettably short time ago, in the debacle, i now fondly ( in my less lucid moments) call my first girlfriend, i was in need of a black shirt. You see the ex liked men in black. That is men wearing black shirts, I'm not so sure about her opinion of the movie. Consequently i needed a black shirt. Rage being the wonderful person he is ( is here being rare moments of non -self centered ass-dom ) let me borrow a black shirt. Eventually he gave me said shirt ( at least i think he did, cause i still have it). And today i am wearing that relic of Rage-dom, the black shirt. Anyway, i have comics to read.

Life

Ok. So i just spent my morning and some of my afternoon trying to get a program to work. So the teacher of my biblical exegesis class requires us to download this secure exam program ( presumably a way to prevent us from cheating when we take quiz's). I try. Everything goes good till i try to set it up. You dont have a license it tells me. Try again. Same thing. Reinstall. Still doesnt work. All right looks like a problem for IT. So today i trooped into IT figuring they'd wave a magic geek wand of +2 technological know how and it would all go away. WRONG! I spend an hour reading some homework ( for biblical exegesis incidentally), and an article about johny depp. They kindly tell me they cant fix my problem and tell me the name of some guy in the library who supposedly can.Then i scurry off to chapel to hear our revered president ( no sarcasm hear, nope, not at all) speak. Then i eat. After completing my text book collection ( they didnt have one of the ones i needed yesterday) i scurry over to the library. The man fixes my problem in two seconds with his +20 bazillion flash drive of power. Apparently he sent the wrong directions to IT earlier on how to fix my problem. all i've got to say, way to go.

Back from a long Seista

Ok i'm back. At school and my blog. Been some time now since i've posted. Well its good to get back ( as well as sort of weird). Am doing a major load of laundry ( loads actually) as we speak. some serious folding in my future. School hasn't really started yet, its first week of the semester so the teachers are just handing out syllabuses and telling you its important to do the homework, go to class, and show up for tests. Gee...never could have come up with those on my own. Nope, not a chance. Got up at six this morning. A little rough, but not really. It would be seven back home so it it wasn't so bad. Not a single piece of equipment at the gyms was crowded ( yes!) except for the damn treadmills. There's four of them. And the only one open was the old squeaky one. Decided that i could wait until tomorrow to run. Probably will rework my workout so i run Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays. Dont know, well have to go meet the girl.