A little of whats on my mind

A little, its late ( i was just at Ihop with some friends and had a little coffee that sort of wearing off). I'm tired off Oc. Not in a , oh gosh i just have to make it four more weeks. I'm tired off it in a deep it saps my soul sort of way. Its not the schools fault its my own, i guess. I can document the steps in which it felt like i was leaving God at home on the car trip here. I couldn't touch my bible the day before i got here. I can read my Bible in Pourto Rico ( thats a place thats been on my mind a lot) my uncles in Texas, my brothers house, my home at 5 in the morning, Mexico i ate it up like a starving man, but Oc? gosh i'm lucky if i touch it when I'm not in bible class, and praying? It feels like God went with me to a certain point on the car trip then he was waving goodbye as we drove away. I think i can count on my fingers the amount of times I've felt like I'm actually in the presence of a living breathing God at Oc. Once at Refuge ( a Thursday night bible thing) and a couple times during the Spanish songs we sing every whensday nights. In fact I'm so dependent on those songs as a way to feel my creator that when we don't sing them, I'm depressed. Generally i have no clue what I'm singing, but somehow Spanish songs get to me, it's like God speaks to me through them. Well thats it, or some of it, i'm tired.