On the Jesus thing

Today in Seekers Chapel, a refreshing smaller thursday chapel more interested in God than anouncements,  we were talking about hell. This occured to me, God has already saved mankind. Jesus came, lived, and died for everybody's sin. There is no acceptance or denial of the fact that salvation has come. Its more like the sheep and goats or the talents. Its what we do with what we've been givin'. To put it more buzzwordy, its how we live out Gods shalom here on earth. This occured to me mostly because hell was talked about not to scare people, but to promise people justice. Hell was were justice would be served on the persecuters and Heaven were the persicuted would get there reward.  I will NOT say that these places do not exist, but they are not the focus. God is really a God of the here and now rather than the latter , someday. We ( chrisitians) are caleld to participate in our salvation and to be the tools God uses to redeem all creation. This frankly makes much more sense to me than the all powerful God of the universe died for all creation whipping out for all time, all sins ever committed , but this only works if you accdept it, what happened to the allpowerful part? Hmmm????? This also destroys any Calvinist types in my very small audiance arguments for predestination, mankind was predetermined to be saved, and is saved. The free will part is that Man still must chose to use that salvation wisely or perhaps better put to allow God to bring about shalom thruogh them.  Oh, and this is also founded on the notion that no ones going to get to heaven through a really good work ethic, we say being good isn't good enough, yet I've found very few people who actualy believe that. 

For those Astronomy Fans

Ones that used to drag certain children out of their nice arm beds at 2 am. One of my skeptic podcasts recomended this teloscope.  https://www.galileoscope.org/gs/

Carb Cycling- A diet that makes sense

So I've been listening to The Fitcast ( http://thefitcast.com/) for a while, and the people on the show keep talking about Carb Cycling. This can be used for either weight loss or body building. The notion is that you cycle your carbs, depending on the diet, you have high carb, low carb, no carb days.  Again it seems like it would make sense, My parants always had  very good results when they went on the Atkins Diet, dropping weight like crazy.  However, I never quite grasped the notion that its bad to eat fruits and veggies. Frankly, most diets work, just because your watching what you eat. I immagine , and its recomended by the guys ( men of GIRTH, both have goal weights over 200 pounds) over at Fat2Fit ( http://www.fat2fitradio.com/ ) that if you just wrote down everything you ate, you'd quite possible lose weight because you were paying attention, i.e notticing the fifteen reeces pieces cups you snatched randomly through out the day and probably you'd cut back.  Carb cycling makes sense because Carbs are the prefered energy source for your body. You cut back on these and your going to lose weight, problem is, you also need carbs like fruits and veggies not only to enjoy , but to have a normal ( or regular) life. So if you have your normal carb days when you exercize so you have energy, then do low to no carb days on your rest days there should be some weight loss. Anywho, here's some good info and links- 

Excert from- http://nutritiondiva.quickanddirtytips.com/metabolism-myths.aspx

Going into power-saving mode

 

The first goes like this: your body, when deprived of food for a period of time, will go into “starvation mode.”   This is when the body burns fewer calories in order to conserve energy, just in case the food shortage continues. During a famine, you’d need to live on your stored fat. Down-regulating your metabolism is a way to make those fat stores go a bit further.

 

It’s similar to the way your laptop adjusts its energy usage when it’s running on batteries, by making the screen a little dimmer, for example. When food is plentiful again, your metabolism goes back to normal, just the way your screen gets brighter when you plug your laptop back in.

 

If there were actually a famine, you’d be glad that your body is designed this way. But, if you’re trying to lose weight, the last thing you want is increased fuel efficiency. You wantto be burning through stored fat like an Escalade burns through a tank of gas. So, the trick is to reassure your body that there is no shortage of food by eating every few hours. Your body will oblige you by continuing to burn calories with reckless metabolic abandon. Or so the story goes.

 

It makes sense, doesn’t it? And, it’s sort of true. Your body does respond to a prolonged fast by slowing your metabolism to conserve energy. Here’s the thing, though: your body doesn’t go into starvation mode if you go four hours without food. In fact, it takes about three days of fasting or serious caloric restriction for your body to respond with any sort of metabolic adjustment.

 

http://www.squidoo.com/CarbRotationDietReview

 

I like this (http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0KFY/is_8_20/ai_98539290/ ) program, but its geared more toward someone working out very hard. So, adjustment should take place. Use this ( http://www.healthcalculators.org/calculators/carbohydrate.asp ) to figure out how many you should eat on days of moderate exercize ( walking, biking, kayaking for instance). 

Derek Web says

He's an acoustic christian artist even my parents could stand. Anywho, he's got this song called a King & a Kingdom. I'd be lieing if I said I don't listen to a significant amount of political podcast, and enjoying egaging in political debate, but I like this song, a lot. 
Lyrics to A King & A Kingdom :
(v(vs. 1) 
who's your brother, who's your sister 
you just walked passed him 
i think you missed her 
as we're all migrating to the place where our father lives 
'cause we married in to a family of immigrants 

(chorus) 
my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man 
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood 
it's to a king & a kingdom 

(vs. 2) 
there are two great lies that i’ve heard: 
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die” 
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican 
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him 

(chorus) 

(bridge) 
but nothing unifies like a common enemy 
and we’ve got one, sure as hell 
but he may be living in your house 
he may be raising up your kids 
he may be sleeping with your wife 
oh no, he may not look like you thinks. 1)

o

Thought from my bible class

If we are not suffering, we are not counted worthy. 

Common Sense Podcast: Show 148 - Of Torches and Pitchforks

Common Sense Podcast: Show 148 - Of Torches and Pitchforks

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Towards a Christian Ethic

So, just a thought from my bible class. Christ/Pauls ministry / Christian ethics are not based on upon avoidance of sin, but living like like God is in control and cares about the universe, living as if the Kingdom of God has come and we are living in it. 

The Change-o-Meter

A post my parents should love

So, a decent discusion on the advantages of eating more protein, esentialy the Atikens Diet. Problem is most of my family is alergic to whey. Note to, that a snack is not a can of nuts, but a handfull of nuts. Anywho, its the second podcast down, easey to find by the title, Try Protien for Weightloss. Oh and no one, AHEM, NO ONE only needs only 1400 calories a day unless you are in acoma. 

http://www.susanmitchell.org/listenlive-archives.htm

Theological Ramblings on Biblical Detail

Ok, so its time to talk about the inspiration of scripture. Which is a bit ironic because its the running joke in my family that I believe the thing was pretty much made up. Anywho, onto my thoughts.  A short synopsis of my belief on inspiration is that not everything happened the way its recorded but the way its recorded is inspired. Ok so what does that mean? To give you an example, today in class ( Joshua through Nehemiah) our teacher put forth the notion that it is possible that Jericho very well could have not been occupied by anyone at the time of the conquest. Ok, don't really care, but what I do care about is this, why then was Jericho picked to be the first place conquered in the narrative? What is the theological significance of putting Jericho as the first place? Obviously it has one, thats why it was picked to be first ( wether God picked it to be conquered, or God told the writer to pick it out of a random hat of names) place conquered? I asked the question and He didn't know quite what to do with it, and all my class mates gave a vague ( and very bad, as an slight enthusiast on the subject can attest, moi) defense of why Jericho was actually occupied. Frankly I don't care wether it was or wasn't , what I want to know is why it was chosen. Why did God say ok, Jericho's going to be the first town ( in my book or in an actual conquest) in a book that is rife with "theological geography". We've got those two mountains, ones blessings, ones cursing, and somehow the towns they take and the lists of the land is just fluff? Of no significance? Excuse me, however you believe it happened, it was put in there for a purpose, selected if you will because it was important, much the way John selected certain miracles of Jesus to record. You can't tell about every city you conquer, so your going to list the significant ones, and if it is a theological history, then your only going to list the ones that are theologically significant. For example, Ai is not a great battle. But its listed because of Aikan. God gives no extraneus details, everything has some significance to theology. anywho, I've had my rant and I shall now go do other things on the internets.

The First of the New Year

So it's been awhile, I'm trying to decide if I was just burned out blogging or didn't have anything to say, I'm guessing it was the latter. A little technical update for all of you who enjoy my spelling, I figured out (clever little me) to post from word, which should be a significant improvement over both Mozilla and safari's spell checking abilities. So perhaps the Cave just became a little bit more readable. Anywho, onto my amazing content. First and foremost I'd like to comment on the upcoming inauguration. Today in church some dude got up and read something from Romans (I think it was chapter 13) about respecting the law of the government and leaders and blah blah blah. I think the clan may be attendee's at my church. It is Oklahoma. Frankly, I don't get it. This is not the first time a president will be sworn into office, nor the last. Obama has yet to do anything, other than talk very articulately about what he's going to do (which may be the shock after the last 8 years). The content of his character has yet to be truly shown. He did little in the senate, which is what junior senators tend to do. Before that he taught and "community organized". I have teachers like that; great guys, but I don't know what they'd do in charge of the most powerful nation in the world. He could be really good, or really bad, I'm kind of hoping for mediocre. But at least give the man a chance to be whatever he's going to be. I feel half the press is trying to cover him so he's a messiah and the other half is warming up the tar and feathers. Ok, that's all I got. In future posts, I might do some fitness stuff. Mostly because that encompasses about half my podcast listening and most of my online reading. Who knows? It's a new year. Now for spell check! Da de dad um!

God, what a conservative!

God is not some sort of limiting, controling, watch you with the rule book teacher that demands you behave or you'll get smacked. God is a lifestyle that is meant to liberate and enhance life not control and prevent you from doing things. I'm not saying there isn't stuff that your not supposed to do. What I am saying that we are motivated by Gods love not to do them and motivated towards action by love, not prohibited and fettered by consiquence. We are not restricted by our faith we are liberated to live the life we are intended to live. One of my teachers said that the world was created to maximize people's opertunity's expeince by doing or recieving self sacrificing love. Its about what you can do and what you do do, not what you don't do or can't do.  Next person that tells me that women on stage in a church service in a play taken verbatem from the bible  is wrong because women should silent shouldn't be able to talk because I'm a man. Just saying. 

Oh goodness, the stock market risky???? When did that happen?

What the heck, my friends, what the heck. People seem to think of the stock market like a bank account with really great interest.  Its risky, some of its less risky than others, but it's still risky. I have a friend who made the incredible sum of 248 dollars today, and he's complaining he's going to lose it tommorow, ouch. All that money. Gonna set him back a ways. Its like everyones expecting someone to guarantee the money they risked carry absolutely no risk. Its like little kids playing a board game, no ones alowed to win because that wouldn't be fair. 

President Obama's first term ( As I know it to be ;)

First, he was elected by America because he is almost the complete opposite of Bush. He's young, ambitious, smart, willing to try anything, emotional politician. People liked that because he could articulate what people want in a president (not what they need, but want). We want our presidents to be able to promise us they are going to be the knight in shining armor that are going to save us from the big bad ugly corrupt politicians. 

Second, He was elected by his party because they found a messiah like character whom they know doesn't have the experience to run a small gas station. They intend for him to be a rubber stamp of whatever they want to do with the nation. Biden's a leash, not an add on of experience, they want to make sure they have someone whispering in Barry Obama's ear telling him what to do. 

What’s going to happen-

-Obama, in the next two months and four years is going to get a quick and dirty education on the way government actually works, the reality of foreign policy etc, etc. 

- He's going to develop a back bone that his party is going to find troublesome. He will be no rubber stamp. If he delivers on his promise to “change" politics as usuall, he must.

-His party's going to revolt. They elected a yes man and they (hopefully) are going to get a president. Consequently, and no doubt inspired by Mrs. Clinton Inc. , the civil war that ensued right up to primary night will spill over into congress. 

-for four years we're going to have a president with approval ratings through the roof with a congress who's approval ratings are going to be in the negatives. 

-Next election, should he be re-elected, which he will be unless he does something stupid as all the real players are dead in the water ( Huckabee, Guiliani) , he will have to deal with a republican congress, its traditionally the way this thing works

-Reagan, that great demi-god of conservatism, did his best work with a democrat congress, who’s to say Barry Obama won’t do the same? By then He'll have some hair on his chest, know how to work the machine to get what he wants. Change? Sure, just probably nothing significant in this four years. 

God

This is inspired by a guy I saw over fall break. I guess you could say I've been strugling with the idea of were christians fit in the world, how we're to participate in it. It seems that we are called to help and to heal, to spread the good news, not vote for some smoe running for office. Then again it is a government by the people and for the people. So the people make the rules. 

It is the piercing beauty of

A crumpled, worn-out,

Smashed up, wrung out black man,

Twitching leglessly in his

Wheelchair under the overpass

That is the greatest

Momunment to and most ghastly

Burlesque caricature of

The idea that God exists.

I should not be able to

Be wrenched by love

For this little bit of wind-blown

Litter of the human race, to be

Guilty of a chaingeless pocket,

A need to flee this worn pavement

For somewere far away by midnight and

Cannont help. Yet how can God

Do this, to him? What makes 

Him less worthy than I

Of two legs, a strong back, a sound mind?

Then,perhaps, thinks my mind,

It is society and I walking hand in hand

That bears the inditement for this crime.

Yet still, I would rather have

My arms,legs, and mind

Then hand them off to him.

Even though I have a family 

That would suround me with

A vast bulwork of love. And he,

I suspect, had none. God, 

I call you to acount,for

This crime.

Politics

ok, so I'm sure everybody's at least heard about Palin, Mcains running mate and the whole media "scandel" that surounds her. Personaly I think their all just pissed. This is a Carl Rovian move if there ever was one. Take the enemies idea's and make them your own. The democrats have traditionaly been much more vocal about women's rights and impowerment then just about anybody else ( as aposed to Republicans generaly cave manish attitude). So what does McCain do? He picks a women. An aparently acomplished, profesional, very republican women for his running mate. Inexperienced sure, but at least its inexperience with a belief statement. Obama's just inexperience with a dream. I will take someone who tells me what their going to do over nice sounding rhetoric any day.

Comeing at ya from Mc OS X

So I just got my new macbook. Can't say I'm horribly impressed with Mac Os yet. I've only really used safari and I had that on my old computer. But it does feel cleaner. Whether that's because I have yet to get crumbs and grease on it or because it lacks the Microsoft logo I'm not sure. I do miss the fact that I understand how to use windows ( it has Vista Enterprise) . Stardate 8979789

Batman

So I can't say it was the most amazing movie I've seen in a long while. It was certainly good, but not jaw dropping. In fact, I would argue that Batman Begins is much better. Heath Ledger acts every body off the stage besides Freeman and the Butler dude. The story is interesting, but lacks a focused psychological intensity I was personally looking for. Its not a bad flick, but I think they made it to big. They should have focused in on Batman and the Jokers struggle, stayed away from big explosive action scenes in favor of psychological terror. But whatev. Go see it, You'll enjoy it.

Kinky Honeymoons

The following is a short rant about a conversation I had regarding the fact that I ( theoretical of course) would have trouble taking faux lepord spotted undergarments with any degree of sincerity, in short if the future mrs. brm ever were to say, show up in said garmets I would laugh at her, and if there was any leather and wips/ handcuffs I would laugh, then go through the necissary paper work to obtain a devorce ( I'd wake the town clerk up in need be) all while laughing very very hard. Being kinky or seductive is not what sex or your damn &**&^&*^& honey moons about. Second the most "seduced" I've been by the few women in my life has rarely been a planned event ( as well as not haveing anything to do with what they were wearing for that matter), in fact setting out to do something ( like say, french kissing) generaly led to uncontrolable peels of laughter. Anyone who can take themselves seriously in fake dead animal prints needs to be shot, and anyone that is overweight and female should not tell a very pictoral guy ( moi), in a self righteos manner that implied ownership of said garments, that I'd better inform my intended of that fact or there'd be consiquences. Being single was frankly a very beutiful thing at that moment. Bitch.

Irony

Try decrying communism and the capitalist greed that keeps the U.S from being a theocracy that's sole purpose is helping poor people at the same time. You might get tongue tide. But then, it doesn't seem to stop some.

Met Mrs. M's mom the other day. Made the mistake of saying she was a hard teacher assuming that that meant to the both us that she was good teacher. Did some hurdle jumping to get out of that one.

Prayers and Cojones

So, we're needing y'alls prayers right now. We're having some difficulties. Nothing wrong with the business side of the op, good planing, straight talking, get things done sort of gal ( whose could switch facial expressions with the sis and no one would nottice a differnce). Leadership comeing out the wazoo in that area. However, our problems seem to rather relational and metaphysical. Short ansers is a decided need some more cojonical fortitude in said area.

A revalation

To much like Tiffany,
In form an function,
Like Leah, but not
the real article,
And the other two,
I'm not sure,
If either of you,
Have enough brains,
to remember, your own
names.
Nuff said.

Refreshingly Adult

So I just spent forty minutes to an hour holding a discussion with this women ( chick or girl didn't seem to cut it) about her grad/undergrad degree in Athletic training. It was nice to have a person to person chat that was just that. Nothing more. refreshing.Needs lime ( joke).

Brandon's creepy walmart guy, well and alive in Borders in Colorado

So I swooped into Borders for some internets and books, which is stupid cause I already have a freakin' load of books with me. Anywho, I breeze over to the coffee counter grab some tea and get ready to pay. Dude at the register has a voice higher than my sister. Then I remember the creepy walmart buy from Moberly. Total of my tea comes to 2.09. I only have ones and tens. 91 cents change. Damit!

Heya sports fans! its official, its hit facebook.

Sorry for the flippancy. Its a self defense reflex that happens when I talk about my emotions to just about anyone. Other than my slightly frazzled emotional state, tours going good. We head out Sunday, and I get to go to Walmart tomorrow. Yay! Ok so thats not much to be excited about.

Single, everywere but Facebook and California

So, due to personal reasons best summed up in the statement : I'm an immature, non-comital bastard that needs some time to grow up ( and distance sucks, a lot), I decided to break up. Only way to do this at the time was the uber cowardly way of breaking up over email. Needless to say California responded badly. I understand, but I really think this is the right decision. I'm sad, but don't really have the time to be sad, so its been actor face extrodinare. Anywho, the stupid mall won't let me access facebook because its under the category of personal and dating. Stupid security policy. So, I'm single. Every were but facebook and California. I miss California.

Shite'n the little guy

Guess whose at it? feckin' freezer.

Policy Change

So normally I make it a point to disagree with everyone, but today I will say I'm agreeing with my brother. We had some discussion over sermons and such that I mostly don't remember, but one thing I remember agreeing to , maybe, is that a sermon should be, well, a sermon. For instance, say you decide to preach on worship ( which by the way is the worst topic to preach on, specifically when you define worship as the song service/church service, as for the most part the new testament says jack about that, so your just reading a book about stuff I already knew and I'm bored, how do people respond to the fact that the 1800's was one of the first times people started worrying about church attendance????), you've got to be really clever to actually preach something that isn't on the level, of oh say, an bad adult class. Yes a boring, pointless, meandering look into were we got our traditions of order of worship. I am currently not dreading going to church. Nope not at all. You can obviously sense my excitement.

Warning

This has not aged in the old moleskin and its 2:49 ( Just got back from Iron Man, so you can guess what three cords are running through my mind) a.m. Unlike most my poems I actually have a title for this one:
The Chess Board

I have stared into the eyes of your demon,
Seen its face,
Souls twisted,
To its own purposes,
As you twist yours to its,
Only one stands betwixt you,
A black knight,
A knight who smiles into the blackness,
You see, he does not fight fair in these battles,
Never has,
So, for awhile I am here,
What is the difference between help,
And fix it?
Where is the line drawn,
between,
A listening ear,
and a shrink?
I,
Am,
Afraid,
I cannot,
do,
both,
Can I?

Expidition Report

On discovering a shower that had not the look,
Of a Lion, three weeks starved,
Moral Improved,
Eyes have been opened wider than imagined,
Do you really need all those?
(reference meds)
Wider still,
Your wasting contact solution! ( paraphrase)
Ouch!
Still,
Moral was improved.

coded message from the front

My mother would clean,
My father would fix,
And I will try not to count the days.

My Dad is Starbucks

Howard Schultz, owner of Starbucks said "we earned customers' trust by speaking to their hearts as well as their heads" (Koehn, Nancy F. Brand New: How Entrepreneurs Earned Consumers' from Wedgwood to Dell Boston. Harvard Business School 2001p 207). In describing Schultz's experience with Italian Barista's that were to become Schultz's business model, Koehn says "…All of them provided an inherently social experience—one that offered people community, comfort, and some sense of extended family." If you walk in my dad's store the first thing that you will notice is probably and employee, half the time it's my dad, saying hi ( because it's "harder to steal from a face than a store" ), then you'll probably notice the signs. My dad collects signs, and decorates his store with him. If it's the Christmas season the store is decorated, to a certain extent much like our home windows and balustrades, with garlands and cheesy window stickers. You'll probably see that neighbor that you only see at the store and stop and chat for awhile ( yes, yes they do).Then off course you'll notice the prices, heck, next to lighting and the floors, that's the first thing I notice when I walk in a grocery store ( admittedly my dad's store is well lit, and we do our best to keep the floors clean, something that most Discount Food stores don't do) , which are low. The service is friendly and all the signs are homemade ( in fact it's the only way to get customers to read them ). We have customers that come to the store not because we're cheaper ( we are) , closer or whatever, but because half the time you'll find my dad out front, doing stuff way below his pay grade, chatting with the customer. My dad does exactly what Starbucks does, just for the opposite reasons. Starbucks offers service, atmosphere and community to justify the expense, while my dad offers service, atmosphere and community ( I'm not sure if this is a grand scheme or an just an after affect of who he is could be both) because he has an inferior product most of the time, a product that requires, to a certain extent, trust to sell. Take that Starbucks (and everybody out there who think theatre major can't talk business).

Harsh Quote of the Week

"Ford had married a little girl, clinging and winsome, and had liked it well enough till he met a grown woman."
Its the same person, but kinda like split personality's. Nothing so psychotic but perhaps a little more subtle. Someone ( I have a pretty good fix on who) "taught" or rather she ( the g/f) was intelligent enough to discover that by acting like a little girl was the only way she could be heard. It's sad, because as Tonto would say ( admittedly I'm putting words in his mouth) " She is much women." But its been brought up, and I have a great faith in her thats its something we can work on. There's some environmental elements, but theres steel in that girl ( as in the industrial material), and its more that she needs to let it come out more often as apposed to it just not being there.

Farm Wisdom

Hick [hik] A person who puts a standard shifter nob on a automatic transmission ( commonly seen on Grand Pre's, Buick's, and Mini-Vans) . See also: wannabe. Habitat range: Midwest, though can be found in most suburban centers, common identifying characteristics ( see above) : "You can take a hick out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the hick" as well as a southern accent that has the ability to appear and disappear, at whim.

Dr. Uncommon Sense: " One postulates that they (Hick's) admire the Redneck. They seek to emulate the toughness and extreme regionalism eschewed by the Redneck. One theory suggests they are compensating for something, possibly a decided lack of personality. Though a lack of intelligence has also been sighted in numerous cases."

Dedicated to the Lambda girl I and a friend rode with to a service project. I believe there were two GPS units ( one in the dash and another was the kind that mounts on the window). We got lost. However, my friend made the correct guess that road we past ( twice) was the road we were looking for. But locals are more trustworthy than a GPS unit. So we had to stop and ask directions, Twice. Then we got a call from someone who'd made it to the service project. He told us the road my friend ( and the GPS) had suggested was the right one. We finally arrived. Not saying it wasn't interesting, or that I don't have a highly developed enjoyment of driving random places ( I blame this on my father, and random Saturday morning road trips). As well as the fact that the two of them ( Lambda girl and my friend) have wildly divergent idea's as to what constitutes good music and so the dial of the radio changed almost as often as it does when me and my sister drive somewhere together. Not to mention the Lambda girl was a wealth of information of clubs and local bars ( irony makes me happy). But having experienced the real redneck on occasion, and for a portion of my childhood driven to school with the "real" item, I can categorically say She was not "it". A funny story: Her outrage at the suggestion my friend hadn't gone to church last Sunday ( misplaced because he had) far outmatched her outrage at random males who asked her to dance, and then tried to grind ( which ,to her credit, she enforced her personal no fly zone). She was fun, and an interesting study in Midwestern psychology, but not the real thing. She was pretty, and not a bimbo. But since she felt males were attracted to the redneck "bimbo girl" thing, she played the part. quote from Fool's Gold ( good movie, watch it):
"Stall for time."
"I need you to act like a bimbo."

The Great Debate

Ok, so my girlfriend is currently looking for a clinic to give her the second stage of the Gardasil Vaccine. Havening heard rumblings of "This vaccine will make girls immoral" and not knowing anything about the Cervical Cancer Vaccine, I decided to do a little research. The Mayo Clinic had a page and I read it. I can't say I'm as enthusiastic as the gynecologist was that wrote the page, but it seems to make sense.I wouldn't want to be the parent who has to take his daughter to the doctor for treatments that may remove her ability to procreate and may not work. I just couldn't look myself in the mirror if ( granted I don't have kids so I can't say for sure) I'd not gotten my kid a vaccine because " It will lead to immorality" and now she's dieing because of it. Admittedly, the cause's of cervical cancer ( which doesn't affect that many according to the mayo clinic page, only something like 10,000 women, which compared to the general population,301,130,947, is definitely not the staggering number the page claims it is) the vaccine protects against do seem to be lifestyle related. HPV is generally thought of as a sexual transmitted virus. One can reason that if one is not sexually active than there is no need for said vaccine. Two rebuttals to this argument, first I'm vaccinated for all the types of Hepatitis, yet my current lifestyle choices more or less protect me just as much as the vaccine does, but heck, there's more than one way to catch a disease, so I'm covered. Second, we don't know what mutations the virus will go through in the future. It may become more viral, and easier to catch. Last but not least, protecting yourself from disease does not promote immorality. Vaccine's are amoral. Morality is a personal decision. You decided whether or not to live morally.

The Quest for Black and White

Over simplification. The idea that things are one way, or the other, with no middle ground. That questions must be answered, not asked. This is the Quest for Black and White. It seems human beings like simple answers, we want things to be one or the other. In fact, it’s almost necessary for human life to continue. Red on the stoplight must mean stop, or horrendous car accidents will occur. Green must mean go, in order that we all don’t sit at intersections for the rest of our lives. However, some questions are not so simple. For instance, is stealing wrong? Well, generally, yes. What about if you can save someone’s life by stealing? Say you have kids, and there starving? Is the reason your kids are starving because your lazy, and stealing is easier than working, or did you get laid off, because someone else is willing to do your job cheaper, or a machine can do your job, better, faster, and cheaper?

This idea of oversimplification carries over into all steps and walks of life. When I was a kid, my mom used the threat of “washing my mouth out with soap” if I said a word I wasn’t supposed to. Does this mean even if I hit my hand with a hammer? What about if I broke my leg? A Chapel speaker recently talked about the danger of words. Certainly there are dangers in words, you can hurt a key relationship irreparably with them. They can even, and do start wars.

However, with this talk of the “Power of Words”, why is there never a discussion of the danger of the absence of words? Couldn’t absence be just as horrible? Lack of accurate criticism can leave a person unprepared for life, or more practically ,the final draft of a paper. Couldn’t a lack of healthy self deprecation lead people, organizations, country’s to take themselves too seriously?

By way of illustration, A friend of mine is thinking about going to a country in Africa with Wishing Well this summer. “To dig wells?” I asked him, “No to film a documentary” was my friends reply. Ok. My thought was, does anyone really (at least at Oc) not know about the need for clean water in Africa? You actually would have to go out of your way not to see at least a part of Wishing Well and various related organizations presentations, literature, and t-shirts ( especially these). So, does anyone really need to be educated? Isn’t the need for clean water? For thirsty kids, parents, aunts, uncles, third, fourth and fifth cousins?

But, is that not an oversimplification? Isn’t it possible that this documentary might reach someone who’ll decide to go and help, as opposed to the “old” documentary? Or couldn’t a rich donor be particularly moved by the new documentary to donate large sums of money? Couldn’t this documentary bring more clean water to thirsty children than one team that only dug wells?

Do we hear this questions being asked? Does the man behind the pulpit say that criticism is healthy, that jokes about oneself keep our view of ourselves from becoming skewed? Is there a public forum for debate ( not over whether or not a certain group, does this or that in Africa) but the ”helpfulness” of said action? Does even asking such questions help, and not impede people being helped?

Sometimes questions are just meant to be asked, because, there is no answer. Or the answer is complicated. Such as, couldn’t criticism help a person do a better job or destroy the persons will to do the job. And is a badly done job, better than a job not done at all? Is a thirsty child being given a bottle of water, better than no children being given any water, at all?

Keeping questions in mind, letting them influence both how we deal with other questions, and our specific actions related to a specific question must therefore be the goal. Perhaps we can achieve this, perhaps we cant. Maybe if we stay with black and white, life will be easier, there will be more doing less thinking. But, is it any good to do, without thinking?

Pointless repatition of facts

Ok, So the Duck is blogging it from a class, about the Bible, specifically Acts. Quick Thought: Memorizing events is pointless. Learning why the Writer of Acts gave them to us is important. There were hundreds of people who died for the Church, why does it mention Steven first, beyond the fact that he might have been the first martyr? I mean the dudes greek, mighten that be important, as a Jew, Jesus died at the end of Luke? A greek dieing for a dead Jew? hmmmmmm....anywho got to go, hell is over. Leave some witty degrading remarks, preferably unrelated.

good timeing

So right after I post about not havening a phone, I go to the doctor. So tomorrow their going to call my g/f and tell her when my appointment is next week to get the pins taken out of my hand because I don't have a phone. Even if I had skype they couldn't call me.

So its been awhile...

So the only thing longer than this post-less streak is probably my non-calling streak brought on by my non-renewal of skype (yet). Not havening money coming into the semester meant no phone till I got payed. Well, now I have some bling, but it'll be a little longer before I renew cause I need to figure out how much money I need for ( hopefully) a post school trip to California. So right now I'm existing with no phone, thankfully the g/f is pretty understanding about me giving important people her phone number. Only problem with that of course is that if she goes somewheres out of touch ( no internet) and I get an important call, well, I won't get the call. The suggestion of a room phone sounded like a good idea at first, and then I figured out that a couple things. First, the people I would call would require a phone card, which I don't have, and skype is cheaper anyways, so if I'm going to plunk currency down, I'm going with skype. Second, no one really benifts from this phone. I'm not in my room a whole lot. The g/f suggested it as a good idea, which it would be, if her cell phone wasn't long distance. well here's to internet communication!

iDiot version2.0

So my sister was waxing philosophic about a tea bag I'd just taken out of my cup of tea. Something to the effect she thought it wasn't meant to be used for just one cup. This in NO Way insinuates I'm incapable of doing something as simple as making a cup of tea with screwing up. Nope. Not at all. On the more positive note, my family has a gift for being incredibly insulting without realizing it. Which makes it all my fault for being insulted. Yep.

Stupidly Smart

First post of the new year, ba da da de dum! So my school, in their effort to keep us all good boys and girls, has once again out done itself in , in idiocy. So the dorm I live in has a lobby. This lobby is usually open 24/7. Not this semester. In their effort to keep "untoward" things from happening on couches in front of glass windows ( untoward here equaling the sins off: sitting to close, putting your arm around your girlfriend, and horror of horrors heads being lane on shoulders, ahhhh, you're making babies!!!!!) after supervisors sign out for the night. So no offense, but this means that say, you want to hang out/watch a movie with your g/f (God Forbid). You have to find someplace un-OC supervised in any way. Which generally means alone time for you the g/f. The places to do this are few and far betwixt. All of the are dark. So, by forcing me out of your well lit, highly visible thorough fair, Oc, ( were all I wanted to do was talk) you've now forced me to rely on the places you can't control my behavior at all, places generally reserved for making out ( gasp, you'd think you were young and in love or something). Way to be. Glad you got my back. Snifff...I love my college.

iBrent= iDiot

Ok, so I just had to convince my family I really knew when my flight was leavening. Aparently airlines don't ever change there schedules, or say stuff like " A schedule change has occurred on your itinerary." Nope they never do that. If for some reason they did, I wouldn't know would I? I wouldn't be able to log on, check in, print out my itinerary and my e-receipt, either. Not a friggen' chance.

Christmas Wish list

anywho, need to post, so i decided to throw this up here.
Large hoody ( plural)- i have a medium and it works pretty well, but still has issues getting my hand in and out of it ( cast and all that), not to mention its now shrunk. It'll fit like a dress, but at least i'll have something to wear in the cold that i can get my hand into ( unlike my coats)
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9781593070946&itm=11
Hellboy:Seeds of Darkens
as far as i can figure this is the first Hellboy graphic novel. I like the art work and the movie, also raises some interesting questions about free will... not to mention he carries a freakin' big gun, and is sarcastic, which makes me happy
Books, clothes
well have a broken hand so i'll be seeing you.

Openmindedly closed minded

So another reflection on my Assembly-line theology class. So personally, I think the mans an douche, but whatever. So I was bracing myself for an Why Music in worship invites the devil to join us class. However, this ( thankfully) did not happen. He started with worship, and what he said about worship was amazing. I'm pretty sure I know his argument now ( music not being a way to worship cause it isn't mental and it being a distraction, not to mention it wasn't exemplified clearly by the early church so its therefore tabboo), but once I managed to put aside my innate dislike of what I knew he was going to say in the next class and listen to what he was saying. First, and it was actually the last point, was that worship isn't about getting, its about giving. I think worship is a bit more balanced, that you should give something and get something out of the service, but it seems to me a lot of people want instruments in a " contemporary" worship service cause a lot of times they turn the worship service into a bad rock concert and the service becomes about how entertained you are, and requires very little input by the chum in the pew ( which is also apealing cause people are naturally lazy) 'cuase the band is doing all the worship. Worship becomes about me and not about God and thats when worship ceases to happen. He also had this acrostic ( I hate stuff like this but the point was good, so we'll overlook the shitty method) P.A.C.E. P stands for Proclaim, A for adoration, C for confession, and E for encouragement of the saints. That is we proclaim stuff ( in our songs, communion, so forth), we adore God, we confess our needs and faults, and we encourage our fellow Christians. He went a bit deeper and was a bit more passionate and amazing than I was but it was good stuff. Not that i don't intend to get my five cents in next class and argue with him, but he's still has good stuff. Inf act it makes me sad that probably a lot of the class missed this cause they knew the crap he was going to say about music, so they missed the great stuff he said about worship. Reminds me of that verse that talks about Respecting old men. Sometimes I think my generation spends to much time on the stuff that old people got wrong and did wrong, as apposed to the stuff they really know right, and did great. I know I do. God helps us see the good in them, and the bad in us ( which incidentally we can change, as apposed to an old geezer who cant change cuase he's all set in his ways)

Job

So hopefully I have one. It's at the caf so I'm a little worried that when i go over tomorrow to fill out paper work, they'll be like, hey you can't do this unless you qualify for work studies. Well who knows. It'll net me ( minus takes, plus change) something like 45 bucks a week, which adds up to 90 bucks every two weeks, which should see my meager needs through till Christmas, hopefully with some in the bank for presents and doing stuff over the holidays cause i probably wont be working first week home ( g/f's coming with me for the first week). Think it might have helped that I mentioned that I've worked in a Deli, was a mop boy, and can bake. But, not sure. The extent of my actual conversation ( my "skills" were in an email with my schedule) was send me your schedule over email. Gets me out of chapel 3 days a week though. Pysched.

More low down on the major change

So, in a brief minute of lucidity, I was looking over my activities since coming to college. And I came to an interesting conclusion. Since coming here I have been in four plays, spent most of my time acting, in the scene shop, hanging out with the theater crowd, looking for props, in the costume shop, and in short basically orienting my life completely around acting. Kinda made me think that maybe I should change my major to what I'm actually doing. That and I don't have much aptitude in the bible side of things. I love my bible classes, and my teachers are amazing. I learn lots, am challenged constantly, but as one teacher wrote on a paper, my hermeneutic is sufficient ( besides off course, the stereotypical diatribe), my exegesis horrible and my grammar deplorable. Not to mention I have no global focus. I see people around me, and that most people ignore them for all the folks "over there". well I'm tired and the old bunk bed is calling me in sweet, dulcet tones.

The Unfaithfull amongst us

So I've been purveying blogs, specifically about tattoo's, for a play I'm going to submit to a ten minute play contest. Trying to get an idea what the Artist's actually think 'cause my main character is going to be a tattoo artist. But this isn't about my character, or my play, its about blogs. I have for the last thirty minutes swam through a host of blogs. Or rather could have been blogs that never got past a clever name and a hi, there, or maybe a welcome, then there was this clever one about crap. But do they get past the first post? Nope. The other blogs stopped in '05. apparently those among the blogging faithful are few ( ahem, not to pester some of my readers, but some of you don't post anymore, not even once a week). I, however am committed. I will continue to tell an uncaring world about my life. Makes me feel important. Gets me out of doing stuff. I mean, I'm developing my witting skills. Yes, thats what I meant.

Major Change

So very soon i'm going to be a theater major. Its just been a naging thought in the back of my head all semester, something along the lines of, " Brent, you'd actually be motivated if you were a theater major, if you had a theater class to go to next, you'd do better in the boring class your in right now." Not gonna lie, when the teacher said in comm 3 that we got to present our stuff to the class, i was really excited. I get to get up in front of people and talk. I get to act ( basically). That makes me happy. Writing papers about a subject that sounded good six weeks ago and now bores the heck out of me does not. I want to act. I need a stage. So i'm going to get one. I'd love to integrate missions into this somehow, but thats still on the drawing board.

Welcome to the Oc, this is Bob, on station S.N.A.F.U, broadcasting live from the World Mission's Workshop!

So, it made me laugh, as well as annoyed me. All the people in the caf were spiffed up, I'm pretty sure I saw a bow tie on one on a guy serving eggs. Who are they trying to kid? Oops, I mean pull the wool over the eyes off? Oh thats right, all the visiting smoe's from other colleges, they want them to think this is how it is everyday. However, there is also a practical side to this. The real reason their serving the eggs is because they want to control portions, so people don't take to much. Cuts down on cost. Not to mention slowing things down. All this freakin' personal sevice takes time. Example: Say this dude asks you how you are? you have to answer the magic question before you can get your eggs. Then you have to tell him what you want, then he has to serve them. I wouldn't be quite this irritated if I didn't know why we were having all this "exciting" extra service. Is it to much to ask for my damn eggs, no conversation, and let me get them myself like the big college boy that I am? Well, this is Bob, saying happy morning to all of you, broadcasting across the internets on station S.N.A.F.U, live from the World Mission's Workshop! Oh boy!

Global warming

Ok so I just almost read an artical, obviously not written by someone from the area, about global warming being the cause "waining" fall follage. Ok first and foremost, one freakin year means jack. Any vermonter will tell you that some years we have lots of leaves, sometimes we dont, it really depends on the frost and snow. Every so often we have a bad year. It just happens. Nothing earthshattering. It kinda like snow. Most of the time we have snow in the winter, sometimes we dont. One year doesnt mean the earth is about to explode. Not saying global warming doesnt exist, but that one year means nothing. Give me twenty years of statistics and I'll beleave you. well now I feel better. better get back to class.

Hot dogs, hordes of people, and stuff

So i pretty much spent the day putting buns on hotdog trays, putting hotdogs on buns. Ok so i did some setting up and cleaning up to. Yes, and a serious amount of hot dog eatage ( i'm thinking six or seven). So it was a give away to poor people. Funny thing, I'm not sure america actualy has them. Or at least, not in a reall desperate needy sort of way. I'm sure some of them must not have had cellphones, had to be some that didnt (I dont have a cellphone), but I didnt see any of those. Pretty sure some of them were illegal ( ironic that the police was there for security and crowd control). All of them had about four to many kids. Most of them drived. In decent cars no less. I feel like we were blessed, and we blessed, but after seeing Mexico, I've decided that on the whole, Americans are wimps. No offense to the really poor people, and I think Jesus would have been there grilling with us, feeding them, but America doesnt have any citties in which family's live in cardboard boxes and nothing else.

Hurray for no context

Context? Who really needs context? I mean it is really necessary? I mean when we can rip a bible verse out of setting, which makes it say the same thing as the other verse's we ripped out of context, life is just so much easier , isn't it? Sorry, I'm mad at me personal evangelism and a free car wash teacher. Once I reach 350 souls I get a WWJD bracelet. I'm so freakin' excited. Its got +20 conservative knucklehead theology. Yay for me.

God uses the fools...

I'm curently doing research ( or rather should be instead of bloging) for a paper on some aspect of short term missions ( its funny, as far as I can tell, and no one says this, but the only recorded examples of mission work in the NT are short term misisons, short term misisons here being a couple monthes to a couple years). And I ran across a verse that's implications are interesting. It says somethig about God useing the foolish things as his tools, thats not a direct quote, more like a paraphrase of the idea. This has been very aparent to me the past couple days. You see I'm in a really lame Personal Evangalism class, tought by a " every freakin' word is inspired and fits exactly in my ten step plan" old dude. To me this is foolish. But as far as I can see, his ten steps have saved a lot of people. While I in no way advocate his aproach, its been effective. I think the younger generation ( me) seems to discount the "oldies" 'cause they didnt save people corectly. What matters it that people are going to heaven. If I had the opertunity, I certainly would try to use something other than the Ten steps, something a little less wrong theologicaly, but fact of the matter I have never actualy had the opertunity. This Old Dude has. He's actualy done it. Seems like he gets points for actualy doing it, while I get negatives for sitting on my ass and just talking about how it should be done properly.

The way it seems to me

Its funny, so I'm a missions major ( curently, I make no predictions about the future past this semester). One of the things I've notticed, that seems to keep repeating itself in my mind over and over and over, is that everyone seems reall excited about "over there". Going to go to Africa to dig wells and provide clean water? Were do I sign up? Aids? Heres some money. Mexico on spring break? Damn strait I'm going ( I admit its a lot of fun). But it seems as if these trips are either a) penence for the fact nobody lives the way they do on the missions field back home b) a way to escape the reality that the home church is dead ( Gosh, stuff is happening there man! ). Everybody's excited ( includeing moi) about evangalising the mythical land of "over there", we forget over here. Completely. Clean up the comunity events are well attended ( and a great way to get THEM to come Here), but what about your friends? the people you spend the most time with? the people you care about? Nary a word. Not one single frickin' word. Never mind sharing your real ( if very weak and broken) walk with God. That's why we hire minister's! Yes, well I have some reading to do, email to anser, never mind friends going to hell. Nope.

Been Awhile

First a little quality update for my critics, I am now using a program with a spell chequer (yes that was on purpose) and such so quality should improve. Sort off. Anywho, onto life. I just got done writing a paper about what this dude (Jay) in a case study for Christian Family, should do about this girl he's been a jerk to ( they were going out). The guy was just a real jerk. I really wanted to add, really, honestly, he's been just such an ass that she should never talk to him ever again and warn all the girls she meets not to ever date him. But that probably wouldn't go over so hot. In other news, and I have a feeling that there's going to be massive fall out when I say this ( no I will not call you because my ear is acting and feeling funky until I actually have a problem, and then I still might not, its not like I'm incapable of handling it), I may have an ear infection. I'm going to the nurse some time before class to get it checked out. Really hope it isn't. That would suck. In other news I just bought myself some fish oil pills ( lots of great omega 3's) and they smell like fish. Ok, so your saying Duh? Fish oil=smells like fish. Yes but it's a pill. Pills shouldn't smell like anything. Well I am now bored and I'm going to go research why omega 3's are good for me.

Argument

OK so it was a little early in the morning for when we had gone to bed, but it still anoys me. We were walking back from breakfast. My girlfriend needs a prescription filled. We get in to an argument over wether she should check to see if were she wants to get said prescription filled alows you to do so online. Her argument is that she may not be on the meddication after dec. My argument is that the meddication is benificial, has helped her, their going to keep her on it, not rocket science. So she doesnt want to check because of that. Not to poke holes in the this argument, but it doesnt require you to scale the great wall of china to do this. It really doesnt. Think its going to come down to, its my car we're going to do this in. If you want me to drive you, your going to check, because me and mel had to jump through all these hoops last year to get my meddication filled, and i'm not going to do that. One, there is an easier/faster way. Second that easier/faster way doesnt require work in anyway. Five freakin' seconds and you can know. But we're not going to argue about it, she said. She's right, we're not. Its either check, or get someone else to drive you. Nuff said.

new year, a new hard drive

So the old lappy is back from the shop. What started out as a simple " my computer cant conect to the internets." turned out to be a not so simple, " we're sorry, your hard drive is corupted." Lovely. Nothing like not being conected to life for the past couple days. An explination for those of you not on an e campus. If you do not have "the internets" here, you will die. Mostly 'cause there will be some sort of monster over in the forum, OC will send out a email telling everyone to wear their +20 armor and their +2 cloak of evasion and make sure thier+5 sword of smiteage is in good condition, or you will die. Or you could miss an email about class being moved, cancled, new homework, whatever. Oc students are like interent vampires. without internets, we die. Pure and simple. So you could say i'm feeling much better. Much much better.

Dont give shit

apologies for the profanity. But i'm really p.o'd. The old g/f is really freakin' getting on the nerves. I have maybe thirty minutes to do the whole internet thing, and not to mention my opinion and advice mean shit. Goodness knows she's all there to give me advice on my life, and how i should be, but lord help us if i give her advice on how to exercize. the sky's falling. tired of phones, interent, because fact of the matter is she'd probably not have the balls ( great pun if i do say so myself) to say any of that crap to my face.

does this mean i suport torture?

So i bought myself a pair of Jack Bower sunglasses. Does that mean i support torture? I mean, if i watch 24, that means i'm a heartless person, but what if i buy Jack Bower aviators? that undoubtedly must move me down a rung in hell. funny thing about tv shows, it o.k. to have rampant sex with multiple people while being married, but god, torture a terrorist and wooo......

Lost Energy

Great stuff, try it. Apparently its monsters answer to the fact that it does not mix with alcohol. Granted I've never tried monster with alcohol, but when the back of the can says its a drink that mixes and that they got monster to make a drink that mixes, i figure that probably implies some connection to adult beverages. Its milder than monster and has less of a bite. Tasty, but regrettably still in the forever cursed 16 onces. I don't mean to rag on a great product but do we really need or want 16 onces?

Draculla

Dracula's Castle' Up for Sale in Transylvania

Monday, July 02, 2007

BUCHAREST, Romania — A Habsburg heir is hoping someone will take a bite of his offer Monday to sell "Dracula's Castle" in Transylvania.

The medieval Bran Castle, perched on a cliff near Brasov in mountainous central Romania, is a top tourist attraction because of its ties to Prince Vlad the Impaler, the warlord whose cruelty inspired Bram Stoker's 1897 novel, "Dracula."

Legend has it that the ruthless Vlad — who earned his nickname because of the way he tortured his enemies — spent one night in the 1400s at the castle.

The Habsburgs formally put the Bran Castle on the market Monday, a U.S.-based investment company said. No selling price was announced.

Bran Castle was built in the 14th century to serve as a fortress to protect against the invading Ottoman Turks. The royal family moved into the castle in the 1920s, living there until the communist regime confiscated it from Princess Ileana in 1948.

After being restored in the late 1980s and following the end of communist rule in Romania, it gained popularity as a tourist attraction known as "Dracula's Castle."

In May 2006, the castle was returned to Princess Ileana's son, New York architect Archduke Dominic Habsburg. He pledged to keep it open as a museum until 2009.

Habsburg, 69, offered to sell the castle last year to local authorities for $80 million, but the offer was rejected.

On Monday, he put the castle up for sale "to the right purchaser under the right circumstances," said Michael Gardner, chief executive of Baytree Capital, the company representing Habsburg. "The Habsburgs are not in the business of managing a museum."

He predicted the castle would sell for more than $135 million but added that Habsburg will only sell it to a buyer "who will treat the property and its history with appropriate respect."

Habsburg said in a statement: "Aside from the castle's connection to one of the most famous novels ever written, Bran Castle is steeped in critical events of European history dating from the 14th century to the present."

According to a contract signed when the castle was returned, the government pays rent to Habsburg to run the castle as a museum, charging admission.

The government has priority as a buyer if it can match the best offer for the castle, he said.

Opposition lawmakers have claimed the government's decision to return the castle to Habsburg was illegal because of procedural errors.

In recent years, the castle — complete with occasional glimpses of bats flying around its ramparts at twilight — has attracted filmmakers looking for a dramatic backdrop for films about Dracula and other horror movies.

Some 450,000 people visit the castle every year, Gardner said.

Bomba: old school with a kick

its a realy great energy drink. Caution though, the official site looks like a porn site till you load it. Not quite sure what two naked people climbing over each other has to do with energy drinks. Its old school, and not as powerfull as red bull or any of the new stuff, hence it doesnt wire you up as hard as the new stuff. Just got lots in at the store. Basking in Bomba.

Being somethone worth waiting for

Be afraid. Be very very very afraid. You are about to experience some bad prose. Written late at night, or if you prefer, early in the morning. I woke up to use the restroom. Something a friend said stuck in my mind. Oh ya, if you ever need a good ego boost, hang out with friends from highschool. You may not make the life choices ( not needling my mother here at all, nope) your parents would like, but at least you didnt sleep with your girlfriend, and dont get smashed on the weekends, and dont do the whole one night stand thing with anything that wears a skirt.

Being someone worth waiting for: Composed in the basement, 2:40 am.

It was a friend of mine that coined the term-
he was using it as an excuse for the way he was living-
Saying that if he had a good christian gil-
He wouldnt be doing the stuff he was doing-
and while he was just making an excuse, to make himself feel better-
(cause his mom had certainly taught him better)
It was a good point, one i'd never thoughtabout before-
Not gonna lie, I've thought about sex and there's times it would have been easey-
It never happened, we claimed beliefs and ideas kept us safe-
But sometimes it felt a whole hell lot more like being afraid of consiquences-
It's never easy to wait, if they say it is-
Thier lieing.
But-
to change the way i live-
to live the way i think-
to ask God-
to let God-
make me be someone worth waiting for-
that would be somethin', wouldnt it?
(ps that last lines a statement, not a question)

Updates Updates

So i'm sitting here at the old desk waiting for a call, then i can leave. I figured it was a good time to update the old blog. Well, not much to update. Nothing much is happening. Army friends not here till 1 of july, which also happens to be the day my best friend is getting married. Other than that its been a typical summer, work, mow the lawn, do stuff. Kinda boring.

well well, another forward

so i got on one of my teachers forewearding lists. Just a snippet from the latest:A bill in Congress makes it a crime for pastors and churches to speak against homosexuality.
and it encourages me to pass it on so people can fight to preserve our "freedom". Dont recall the early christian doing that, calling up thier local senator, telling him to get on his chariot and make a mad dash for the forum to stop the "Lets throw christians to the lions " bill. I would bet money its a urban legand. I'm sick of people thinking we have to go out and fight stuff, that gosh you have to protect your rights. All i've got to say, i'm not afraid, and bring it freakin'n on. Lets stop being pansy's, gov does not define morals, marriage, what i beleave. they want to make it a law that i cant say what i beleave. Throw me in jail.

moods and music

some interesting thoughts and some music. My life has a soundtrack.
"Surrender"

My hands hold safly to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?
"Mirror"

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

great song

heard it on the radio this morning. its sad, but it made me happy. go figure.

The Last Night Lyrics

You come to me with your scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everwhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be
The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight, tonight

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everwhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be

I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me

corection:i'm single

the wording would have been better, a girlfriend. figured a post is better than just fixing the origanal post, cause i dont know how many of you have read the origanal already.

things you should never tell woman

Like, hey my best friend i've known all my life, whose wedding i'm the best man in, is more important than you. So it wasnt that blunt. but it was kinda blunt. this is the second time i've had to do this. funny thing is this time it wasnt to my girlfriend it was to the former. whom i've known six monthes. she wasnt happy. ah well. not sure i care. Dont quote me on that.

Friends dont let friends date friends

A truer word has never been spocken. Or words. Anywho, having a good day. Being mildly outgoing and talking to this chick at work. We both snowboard, not sure if that subject can last the day, but heck, i only have to make it to 4:30. Might go see shrek together. so far the only person who actualy wants to see the movie that i know. Could be fun. Could be disastoruous. anywho, facebook awaits.

some randome thoughts

So i start work tomorrow. not incredably excited. It does mean i have highspeed internets more or less from 8:30-5:30. It also means that i get to mop floors, clean up spills, clean cans. Whoop te do. But it pays the bills. the bills need to be paid. indeedy do. well anywho. thinkin' about life. not much goin on. bored. can think of anything to type. going...somewere else.

Ahem, not sure what to post

cool song. dig it alot.
"Yours To Hold"

I see you standing here
But you're so far away
Starving for your attention
You don't even know my name

You're going through so much
But I know that I could be the one to hold you

[Chorus:]
Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold

I see you walking by
Your hair always hiding your face
I wonder why you've been hurting
I wish I had some way to say

You're going through so much
Don't you know that I will be the one to hold you

[Bridge:]
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
You should know
I'm ready when you're ready for me
And I'm waiting for the right time
For the day I catch your eye
To let you know
That I'm yours to hold

[Altro:]
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
I'm ready when you're ready for me

My kick butt day

So in case you havent notticed, i've beeen having a sucky couple weeks. Today i think i've turned the corner from the she left me blues. no promises emo me wont be back every now and again ( last girlfriend it took me round about christmas to get over the whole break up thing), but we're clear for awhile hopefully. I had a freakin' amazing day.
1. Comotose. I dont know if you have had a piece of music transform before your eyes to something different, something, better. It'd been my new favorite sad bastard music to listen to. Then this morning, it transformed itself to a get off your ass and get moving sort of thing. Made me happy. Really cool cd. everyone should go out and buy it.
2. I wore a suit coat. Suit coats make me happy. Suit coats also make me hot. "nuff said.
3. Spent the day withe the R.O.H ( responsible other half). My cousin. best friends for well, a bazillion years. Ate at the three tomatoes, which is an amazingly cool, Italian eatery. Nothing makes me happier than great food with unpronounceable names, or with simple names like Sicilian chicken, nothing like chicken that will mug you if you don't eat it quick. I didnt have chicken, i had some sort of tomatoe/portabello mushroom panini sandwich that was amazing.
4. The Army Dude called last night. Friend in army, going to iraq. had a long talk, very excited he's coming home.
5.Bought the essential billy joel. great music, sing me a song mister piano man...

Comotose by Skillet

Very cool. Probably the most interesting bit of music released by a Christian artist well, since switchfoot came out with their new cd. Very very amazing. Also very very depressing. Makes a guy remember all the girls he's dated, the fun times, the sad times, and well just feel lonely as heck. So thats basicaly my mood right now. Lonely. which of course the fact that i cant stop listening to it. Wahhhhhhhhhhhh....brent is single. Oh and i shaved my head. not feeling emo at all right now. Nope. think i'll go cry in the corner. At least my since of irony is still with me, and i'm laughing at myself.

belated b-day party

So we couldn't celibrate my b-day in oklahoma, so we had the party today. Food was...amazing. pie was great ( coffee, brewed by myself, was pretty dang good as well). Presents were also pretty tasty. Scored some sweat shirts. expanding my wardrobe also makes me happy. got some cash from the ragester which expands my buying power, er, i mean savings, yes thats what i mean. Got some pretty sweat floor mats to. Thinking about painting the old car white, doing the inside in black. We'll see. Have to work out the logistics of painting it myself, figure that works better with ground effects if i every get the money to purchase, well have some internets searching to do.

summer goals revised

think i'd date just not to be bored, going out of my mind. boredddddddddddddddddd

oh yes, update on my emo self ( or hair)

i cut my hair cause i was bored, then i died it. Black. Inspiration: that really cool scene from the Bourne identity were he dies her hair, black. Anywho thought a couple people will flip. Should be good times. Yay for me.

My Goals for the summer

1. Gain 20 pounds. Actually its probably more like 25. I'm roundaboutish 155 right now. soccer i made it to 160, would really like to be 180. A fit 180.
2. read lots. have an amazing reading list. gonna be freakin sweet.
3. make money. always a must
4. volunteer at the homeless shelter, hopefully, but have to see what the job does before i can give them hours to be there.
5. Date someone. Date here being Brentish for hey lets do stuff together, get to know each other and if we click we do, and if we don't, then thats cool to. Have a friend coming home from college here in a couple weeks ( a her). anywho, moving on.
Ridding a blue funk right now, wrote some crappy poetry was going to post, but lost the urge. Well other spheres of postage await me and my mad writing skills.

Emo times for all

Miss having someone to hold. Badly. Know that i just have to keep being stubborn, pretend everything is ok and it will eventually not be that bad. Time , its all i need. this sucks.

my bleeding heart

Ok, so i'm feeling sort of emo right now. Dont worry, in a moment or two i'll be playing ps2 games and watching 24 and it will all go away and i'll be back to my normal angst ridden cynical self. Frankly i'm missing having someone beside me. Some one thats just mine. On the same token i'm kinda enjoying the carefree responsibility freeness of being able to flirt and move on. Smile, make eye contact then move on, never meet, never have to pay attention, fix problems and communicate with. On the other hand, not sure i'm diggin' on the whole limitation thing. I sort of want possibilities. You know, nothing dead set, just see how the relationship goes. Think i've been aproaching every relationship i've been in with the idea that it must end, so why not get it over with? the ex was going to pr, the former was going to be a million miles away, bound to break up so lets do that, take control, make the decisions. Kinda would like to just see were things go. You know, no have to do the whole relationship thing, but can if we both want to, no breaking up cause of distance. But then dont think i'm ready for any new person in my life. It'd probably be just a way to forget the former. Its that probably thats getting me, the forever what if that haunts my footsteps. Well enough, here's a great song.
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's messed up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

The Ghost Rider

Just went and saw if with the former ( former sounds better than the ex). Very frekin' cool. Go out an watch it. Nicholas Cage does an amazing job as a Ghost Rider. Its not spider man, but its cool. I never liked choppers that much, but heck, flaming ones, ridden by flaming skeletons in leather beating up the bad dudes, well kinda cool. Also the leading lady, who's name i forget, is also very hot. Yes, very much so. Not to mention the plot is cool. Well anywho, i have a paper to write "wink, wink"

Single again, for sure this time

So it's over. Make me happy. the pressures gone. having to worry about hurting her is gone. She's letting me go. Truth be told we're both really immature. Heck we're freshmen. We need some time to grow up. Its been amazing, but its time to get back to life. Only sad part is i think she's letting me go. I'm ready for this, been ready for this, she's not. She's an amazing girl, and she's doing this because she loves me. Tugs on the heart a little, not going to lie. Its good to be free though. My independence is satisfying. For those of you watching facebook, i'm not "officialy" out of this relationship. I promised her one last date. Then its officially over. I'll be sad, in fact thats sort of kicking up right now, but its for the best.

From Facebook to Myspace: a journey of spiraling adiction

Ok so i got into myspace for the heck of it. Why not i said. So i blogged once and then forgot about. Was chatting it up with a friend of mine , my page had been found, and it was lame. So i went to work. Found some cool sayings. Got mad at the ridiculously small font they give you , changed the profile picture. Got some Great Big Sea going down, alls happy. But now, i'm addicted and in a few short minutes i will go and see how many people read my blog. However, i will also get the feeling that someones watching me, that their creepy and that they want to...do bad things. To me. Was reading a survey on said friends site, and was wondering, why would a random person care. Then their was this creepy singles advertisement. Web cam chat they call it, telling me to chat. It was just a stock advertisement, for fools to click on so they can steal all of your money and sell your email address to spammers. But i almost clicked on it to make it go away. Creappyyyyy

(Time Of Your Life)"

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Well, singleness is setting in

I just broke up. Last night. Over the internet. Why the heck does it always happen over the internet? Can i not date a girl that can communicate in way than the internet? I mean,i changed face book, sent her an email and she emails me the reason's why she's mad at me. Well you know what? i tolled her specifically if she didn't say it to my face i wasn't especially interested in reading it in an email. I didn't delete it, but neither did i read it all. I'm getting tired of her getting mad,not talking, then that night she'll come up and hug me, and kiss me and never tell me why she was mad. I cant take this anymore! i told her we'll talk sometime, but not anytime soon. Kinda diggin' on the whole being single again. This ones for Jer. God, its been a lovely day...( great song)

Chaple Sucks, at least most of the time

Think ten minutes of songs lead by a constipated walrus, think maybe ten minutes of preaching by a drunk panda, think definatly ten minutes of announcements lead by an angry chiwawa, who also happens to be our president, and you get a general description of chapel. However there are bright moments, like the ones when we only have two songs and then they tell us to leave. Or on those evan rarer moments when the preacher is actually a good preacher ( reference : Niccum, Baired, Kooi, Jeff Walling, Randy Harris, Mitch Wilburn). Like today. Mitch is in town, and preachin' it up. Happy Brent. Granted he doesn't have the time to say anything much, but it makes me happy to see someone who's actually passionate speaking from the stage.

A little of whats on my mind

A little, its late ( i was just at Ihop with some friends and had a little coffee that sort of wearing off). I'm tired off Oc. Not in a , oh gosh i just have to make it four more weeks. I'm tired off it in a deep it saps my soul sort of way. Its not the schools fault its my own, i guess. I can document the steps in which it felt like i was leaving God at home on the car trip here. I couldn't touch my bible the day before i got here. I can read my Bible in Pourto Rico ( thats a place thats been on my mind a lot) my uncles in Texas, my brothers house, my home at 5 in the morning, Mexico i ate it up like a starving man, but Oc? gosh i'm lucky if i touch it when I'm not in bible class, and praying? It feels like God went with me to a certain point on the car trip then he was waving goodbye as we drove away. I think i can count on my fingers the amount of times I've felt like I'm actually in the presence of a living breathing God at Oc. Once at Refuge ( a Thursday night bible thing) and a couple times during the Spanish songs we sing every whensday nights. In fact I'm so dependent on those songs as a way to feel my creator that when we don't sing them, I'm depressed. Generally i have no clue what I'm singing, but somehow Spanish songs get to me, it's like God speaks to me through them. Well thats it, or some of it, i'm tired.

Oc lets us down once again

Ok this is a rant, i'll get to that other post any day now. Ok so my parents are shelling out the bling so i can go to school at this "first" rate place of Christian enlightenment. What happens when i arrive at the caf today? Guess? We are presented with togo boxes cause some one or organization has taken over the cafeteria for some reason. I wouldn't have been incredably pissed if they had at least warned us, like an email that said " Such and such worthy cause organization has taken over the cafeteria, your going to have to eat out of togo boxes." But for all know it could be a bunch of Rich dudes their trying to wring money out of, so they can raise my tuition ( yes it is happening, i was over at the printer the other day and someone had printed out a bunch of surveys about the cost going up 6% for tuition and maybe 5% for room and board, i don't remember exactly) to build stuff i really don't give a crap about ( reference baseball field we wont be able to use cause its only for out dear baseball team and clock tower). But they don't. My parents are already paying way to much for room and board, the dorms suck and the caf constantly under delivers, every day, seven days a week. So unless those rich dudes are going to start shelling out the chunk change to pay my bills or give every student a Porsche, give me my cafeteria back.

Back from Mexico

So i made it to Mexico and back without our dear government suspecting that they let a undocumented member of their country slip in and out without their knowledge. Did a lot of thinking, praying, reading of the old bible, so a really long post should be forthcoming. The reason I'm making this post is cause the old blog was distracting me, and i needed to do some blogging to get it out of my system. Well, back to practice.

Why i hate chapel

Ok the way to get Brent excited about Chapel is not to have a crummy ( a.k.a New Reign) worship team get up and start singing before i actually have to hear them, i treasure those ten minutes before chapel in which i sit in my seat, catch up on my girlfriends day, or merely snooze,pick my nose hairs whatever. Truth be told i really hate bands that are basicaly copying Accapella ( the only "band" that actually does Accapella moderatly well), but turn out to be more like a really bad N'Sync ( if thats possible) with less training in the art of singing. Second if your going to get on stage and pretend to be rock stars, your not fooling anyone, get a guitar. Third, if you cant sing, the key is to snap your fingers. Makes people think you can.

Whats up my tunner bro's..

Very excited about the summer. I just googled the car i'm probably be going to be driving ( 1998 caviler) and found out i can perform the two cheapest and best ways to gain horsepower and get a body kit for 1600 give or take a bit. A cold air intake is round aboutish 400, with a header being round about 300. A body kit is anywhere from 300-600. This summer is going to be freakin' awesome. First upgrade will probably be the radio though. It doesn't have cd player. Thats going to be a rough couple weeks till first paycheck nabs me a system. Going to be a lot of mowing the lawn in between working though. But we have a big lawn. And the big bearded man probably wouldn't mind if i do some dead branch snippage on some pine trees i know of. Hopefully i'll actually be able to do stuff to my car, cause' i'm hoping to do some volunteer work for the church and a homeless shelter. All and all a pretty sucky looking summer is beganing to look up. Wootness!