First i will be happy then i will be sad. Granted i'm afraid i cant be very happy for very long. Well i'm out of stupid math forever.Never again, bro's.
Ok nuff happiness onto my uber sadness. I was contemplating WPA week, with the skill of a well known contemplator. I could go out try to be dashing and charming. Yes i could. I, ladies and gentlemen can be a girls dream come true when called upone. Problem, i dislike acting to gain some sort of human affection. Well, Mr. Brent what about pretending that your not evan interested isnt that acting? Kinda the reverse but still leaves me feeling like a smuck. You see, you might say i'm girl shy. My first ever "girlfriend" , well to put in nice terms, lied about some very important things, notably her affection for me. Granted i was also partyly guilty, but she still lied, and it still hurt, and in the end it is still her fault. Did i contribute? yes. Did she still have a choice? yes. I cant say i've ever realy delt with all that crap, not evan sure how to. But to make a long story short i' m scared spitless of ever getting that close again. At the same time theres a hole in me that she left, i need someone there. I could just go at it and hope that the feelings would eventualy catch up with me,they say some things just need doing and then you get the hang of it. I dont want to hurt someone though, i mean...Perhaps not the ideal first date experience. well i'll go mope over some spanish homework.
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