Brents Five Points to Maintaining my comfortable sate of jerkdom

First i must say today is a good day. Its one of those days that my door is just not cutting it as a companion. Second i'm feeling both like the grinch, uber spy person, and guilty as heck. Ok, a few days back i was trying to figure out how i could stop feeling like the most awfull person in the world for not talking to the geru. Then i had a great news flash, if the guru doesnt talk to me i wont feel like the bigest jerk in the planet ( tip 1. if your going to be a jerk try not to do it around nice people that make you feel guilty about being a jerk). This struck me. Only problem its working. I think the guru has put me on the list of people she hides behind bushes when she see's them ( ok this isnt exactly true, i saw her at the gym this morning, said hi, was actualy very proud of myself for not pretending i didnt see her) Ok so back to the story. So i saw her at the gym. I get back from the gym, shower and don my uber spy out fit ( ok its the most comfy thing you can put on in the morning, though i'm going to have to purchase new sandles) and beat if for the caf. I arive, and am in the process of loading up the old plate with goodies when i glance over at the omlette line. First its just some brown haired girl. Then i glance agian, its the guru. Now i have two choices, i can pretend i dont see her or i can say hi. Well the omlette arives before i have to make any sort of decision on my personal moral dilemma. So i grab my bran flakes, my cup of coffee ( yes i've started drinking once again, only one cup, realy these headaches just simply werent worth it, i dont mind dieing of high blood pressure just so long as it doesnt happen while i have a headache), and my man sized cup of orange juice. I then beat it for the dinning room. There is the guru and her dinning partner. I have two choices i can try out my uber spydom or i can go over and say hi. Uber spydom wins, so i sellect a seat ( i'm if you havent notticed a lot more observant than i look) and try out the uber spy dom. It works out pretty well, i hope, because if it didnt i'd feel like the bigest jerk in the history of the world. Well time to go. ( bad news chums, the guru may be sitting directly oposite me, i cant tell because i think that my left eye prescription just got a whole lot worse and i"d have to lift my head up to check, and that would blow my cover, ok we're in the clear its not the guru just some chick in a white shirt well spanish is calling)